Some people believe that governments should not support the arts (painting, music, sculpture) and instead support other areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that the government should finance public services
instead
of spending its budget
on arts
for instace
painting, music, sculpture, and many more. Correct your spelling
instance
While
in my point of view
Add a comma
view,
i
agree that investment in public services Change the capitalization
I
play
a very important role, Change the verb form
plays
i
think that spending Change the capitalization
I
budget
on art
sector is Correct article usage
the art
also
a
crucial for Change the article
apply
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
To begin
with, i
Change the capitalization
I
dissagree
with the statement because Correct your spelling
disagree
arts
could develop our economic sector. Furthermore
, in each country
so many people have Add a comma
country,
sense
of Add an article
a sense
arts
but with the limitation of Fix the agreement mistake
art
budget
they can't expand their creativity. Add a comma
budget,
For example
, an artist could't
Correct your spelling
couldn't
could
sell
Change the verb form
sells
theit
product through social media Correct your spelling
their
because
the lack of technology and Add the preposition
because of
budget
. Hence
, its
Replace the word
it's
it is
Correct article usage
the governments
governments
role to allocate its money Change to a genitive case
government's
governments'
for
the artist.
Change preposition
to
Secondly
, many publlic
facilities Correct your spelling
public
that
need to Correct pronoun usage
apply
build
or Wrong verb form
be built
renovation
. So, spending Replace the word
renovated
budget
on Correct article usage
a budget
that is
crucial. Moreover
, the convinience
of society in using public facilities Correct your spelling
convenience
are
important. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
For instance
, government
should provide nice Add an article
the government
sidewalk
for Fix the agreement mistake
sidewalks
the
Correct article usage
apply
pedestrian
. Maybe Fix the agreement mistake
pedestrians
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
that
make
people more agree on that.
In conclusion, though Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
i
agree that the government should allocate a large part of its Change the capitalization
I
budget
on
Change preposition
to
such
urgent needs of the
society like public services, Correct article usage
apply
i
think that Change the capitalization
I
arts
, music, and theatre should Correct your spelling
also
alse
be financed since they play an important role in Correct your spelling
also
Fix the agreement mistake
people's
peoples's
development and Correct your spelling
people's
entertaiment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
Submitted by almirarhaseshaa on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this main idea is supported by specific examples or explanations. Additionally, make sure to develop each point sufficiently before moving to the next one.
clear comprehensive ideas
Maintain a clear position throughout your response, as this will help your essay to be more coherent. This involves not only stating your opinion clearly but also maintaining it consistently throughout your essay.
logical structure
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. Be mindful of overusing certain linking words; try to vary your language.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion does well to reiterate your main points, but it can be strengthened by ensuring it succinctly summarizes the arguments presented without introducing new information.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant, detailed, and specific examples to support your ideas. This not only strengthens your argument but also shows the ability to think critically and provide concrete evidence.
complete response
Be attentive to the prompt and fully address all parts of the task. While you have presented your position, ensure that you also address the opposing viewpoint to provide a balanced argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.