Topic: the rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

#topic #rise #media #relationships #society #communication

Whether

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

has had more and more impact on relationships and communities is a controversial problem.

This

writer believes that the benefits of having lots of

friends

and building

reputation

Correct article usage

a reputation

show examples

outweigh the

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

of criticisms. One of the advantageous

factor

Change to a plural noun

factors

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is that social

media

helps

people

to have more

friends

than in reality.

In other words

, social

media

makes

this

world become smaller and gets

people

together. Individuals can find and make

friends

from all over the world, to chat and share their stories

as well as

interests. Taking Facebook as an example, there are many

chatting

Replace the word

chat

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groups for

users

to join

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apply

show examples

and discuss their

favorite

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favourite

show examples

topics.

Therefore

, using social

media

to make

friends

is prior

with

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show examples

most

people

. Using

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

to build up

reputation

Correct article usage

a reputation

show examples

also

needs to be considered. On social

media

, individuals can change and decorate their personal blogs to make a good impression on others. On social

media

people

can only judge everyone through their personal pages, which means that

users

can have their most beautiful images in other’s eyes. It is not difficult to find actors using pretty pictures

about

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show examples

themselves and their

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

to help the poor, which makes them become more popular.

Hence

, social

media

can publicize a person

as well as

their beauty.

However

, some residents are afraid of

criticisms

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criticism

show examples

whenever they go online. In more

details

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detail

show examples

users

usually do not have methods to confirm if the information is correct or not

Remove the comma

apply

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and will critic

objects

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object

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without any doubt.

This

statement can be true, but as long as

users

respect others both in reality and on

internet

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the internet

show examples

, there will be no

people

try

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

opponent

Replace the word

oppose

show examples

them. Because of that, most

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apply

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people

prefer avoiding discussing

about

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apply

show examples

sensitive topics

as well as

conflict and

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

friendly words to chat. Taking all into consideration, the benefits of having more

friends

and building

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

reputation outweigh the

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

of criticisms.

Hence

people

should respect

rules

Correct article usage

the rules

show examples

of each community.

Additionally

, governments ought to restrict the laws about cyberattacks and untrue articles.

Mon Jan 15 2024

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task achievement

While the essay does address the topic, the response is not always fully extended or well supported. The ideas are somewhat clear but could benefit from more development and specific examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay has an acceptable logical structure, with paragraphs and some use of linking words. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly defined and the argument more developed for greater clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

337 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: the rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is common for each member of family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead them to break down of family relationships and communication. To what extent do you agree?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain answer.

The best way to solve environmental problems would be for the current generation to accept a simpler way of life for the sake of the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that government should spend money on building new train lines,while others believe that improving public transport is more beneficial.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.