The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do that advantages of using social media for communication outweight the disadvantages

At
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In
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4.0
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the 4.0
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era,
internet
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the internet
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are
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has
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grown
up
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apply
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rapidly and it
was
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is
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applied in every
fields
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field
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in human society. One of the things
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that belong
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belong
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belongs
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to
internet
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the internet
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are
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is
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social
media
, which
are
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is
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being used much by
people
.
This
status
bring
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brings
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bold advantages and disadvantages for
sense
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a sense
the sense
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of
communicate
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communication
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of
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among
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human
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humans
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.
This
essay
agree
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agrees
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with the ideas it have a great effect
to
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on
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people
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people's
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live For the first and clearest thesis that social
platform
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platforms
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had a wide range of
informations
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information
pieces of information
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. Each of us
have
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has
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a habit
that
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apply
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we
start
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starting
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a new day with our
phone
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phones
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, we
alway
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always
access
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have access
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to
some
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apply
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social
media
like Facebook, Instagram,Twitter,etc... to check many
internet
news.
Moreover
, information from
media
platform
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platforms
show examples
are quickly
Verb problem
is faster
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than reading traditional news, it
so
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is so
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convenient
due to
holding a large paper to read is
so
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apply
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redundant and
taking
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takes
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too much time. The info on the
internet
is
also
quickly than with the fast upload speed by the network.
Therefore
social
media
can help
people
improve their knowledge about
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social
siacl
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social
status
Come to the
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The
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second reason
agree
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agrees
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with
thesis
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the thesis
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, we
can
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apply
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know that chatting become more popular,
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and replace
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replace
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replaced
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the
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apply
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mail to connect
people
from
wide
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a wide
the wide
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range. Online
mails
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mail
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are
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is
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faster and maybe funny because
people
can
interaction
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interact
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in a short time.
Furthermore
it support
icon
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icons
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,
emoji
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and emoji
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that mak
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mak
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make
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the
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apply
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conservation become
enthusiastic
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enthusiasts
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. For
xample
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example
, you have
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a girl
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girl friend
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girlfriend
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and must communicate with her
much
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apply
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but you do not
enough
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have enough
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time, messenger is your solution, call video, chatting,..... you can do anything despite a far physical range Using social
media
also
have
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has
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harmful
Add an article
a harmful
show examples
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effects
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effect
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effects
show examples
.
For example
,
while
some researchers note the necessity for more research on social anxiety and social
media
use, it is
possibleTrusted Source
Correct word choice
possible
show examples
for
people
with social anxiety to experience continued functional impairments — e.g., being uncomfortable or unable to form and engage in face-to-face relationships — when they replace in-person interactions with social
media
use.
Furthermore
, failing to make or maintain in-person relationships may
also
appear
as a consequence
of social
media
use.

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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential for framing the argument. Consider starting with a brief introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement. Similarly, end your essay with a concise conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your position.
logical structure
Organize your essay with a more logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow a logical sequence. Use transitions effectively between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader through your arguments.
supported main points
Develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While you have presented some arguments, deeper analysis and the inclusion of specific, relevant examples would demonstrate a better understanding of the topic and enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
complete response
Ensure that you directly address the question and present a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages of social media use. Your essay should systematically explore each side to fully achieve the task and demonstrate a clear position throughout your response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on clarity and development of your ideas. Some thoughts are presented abruptly without thorough explanation, which can confuse the reader. Expand on your ideas with clear reasoning and maintain focus on the topic to avoid deviating into less relevant areas.
relevant specific examples
Integrate relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. While you have mentioned some general examples, incorporating precise instances or data would substantiate your arguments and illustrate your points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • online communities
  • facilitated
  • sense of belonging
  • entrepreneurs
  • decreased face-to-face interactions
  • misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • excessive use
  • mental health issues
  • impermanence
  • rapid pace
What to do next:
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