The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?

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The topic of using social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for communication has compensation
package
Fix the agreement mistake
packages

It seems that package may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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or drawbacks is something consideration. The writer concurs that social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

helps
population
Correct article usage
the population

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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connect with the world and is a great source of data,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some others believe that social networking has a negative impact on offspring. There can be no doubt that technology has revolutionized the way we live, work and connect by making tasks faster, easier, and more efficient. To put it another way, social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

makes society connect more with their relationships everywhere and at every time conveniently.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
population
Correct article usage
the population

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or others to entertain themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and update the news in the world and sometimes, they can make a phone call or message with relationships to improve their relationships.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, social networking helps
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

live more lives and is simple. Another positive aspect of using social publishing is that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will have a great source of knowledge from it.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are becoming too busy to find info in books or dictionaries, social networking can solve it by the fast ability to process material.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can save time and money, and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

use it for something meaningful.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has vital
perquisite
Correct your spelling
prerequisites

The word perquisite doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that cannot be overlooked. It is worth noting that there are both
perk
Fix the agreement mistake
perks

It seems that perk may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and drawbacks to using social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

it can have a negative impact on offspring. They argue that children do not have the ability to control their time spent on smartphones, and it might make them lose focus on the lessons. It is credible, but parents can limit the times their children use social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and educate them about the benefits and impact of using technology. Taking everything into consideration, social has the benefits outweigh the risks by a long shot, and as long as you take some basic precautions
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it’s easy to stay safe on social networking sites..
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it helps
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

contact with everything happening around them and keep track of
clue
Fix the agreement mistake
clues

It seems that clue may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
Submitted by gvlethimyha@gmail.com on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a fair attempt at structuring the arguments with paragraphing, but lacks clear logical connections at times. Use a variety of linking words and make sure paragraphs are clearly focused on a single main idea to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but they are underdeveloped. Include a clear thesis statement and a summary of the main points in the conclusion. Use the conclusion to make your stance crystal clear to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Main points could be supported with more specific examples and explanations. Include more detailed and illustrative examples to substantiate your arguments better.
task achievement
The essay provides a response to the prompt, but it is incomplete and includes some irrelevant information. Focus on directly addressing the question throughout the essay. State your opinion clearly in the introduction and maintain focus on it.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear but lack comprehensive development and depth. Expand your explanation of ideas and how they directly relate to the topic. This will help in fully addressing the task.
task achievement
There are few specific examples, and they are not fully developed. Use more relevant and specific details to back up your points for a stronger argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital communication
  • Online presence
  • Privacy concerns
  • Cyberbullying
  • Social networking sites
  • Virtual communities
  • Echo chambers
  • Digital footprint
  • Social media influencers
  • Content dissemination
  • User-generated content
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Cognitive dissonance
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