The graph below shows the changes in food consumption by Chinese people between 1985 and 2010.

The graph below shows the changes in food consumption by Chinese people between 1985 and 2010.
The line graph compares
meat
,
salt
and fish in terms of food
consumption
by Chinese people from 1985 to 2010.
Overall
, the three foods experienced different trends in the time period.
While
meat
and fish rose with some fluctuations,
salt
consumption
fell over time. As the graph illustrates, over the time from 1985 to 2010 fish
consumption
was the highest number than other foods starting at 600
grams
per person per week in 1985 followed by a small increase to 700
grams
per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
person weekly in 1990.
Then
, it rose rapidly until reached a peak of around 850
grams
in 2010.
In addition
,
consuming
Wrong verb form
consumption of
show examples
meat
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased steadily during that period.
In contrast
,
salt
consumption
stood at 500
grams
per person per week
decreased
Correct word choice
and decreased
show examples
constantly throughout the period.
While
salt
and
meat
had different trends, both foods
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
met
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same figure in 2010
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a number
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
200
grams
spent.
Submitted by oktiviay17 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words meat, salt, consumption, grams with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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