*In the last 20years, there has been significant development in the field of information technology (IT), for example in World wide web and communication by email. However these development in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future.* *To wat extent do you agree with this view* *Give reasons for your answer and give any example from your own experience or knowledge*

Information Technology is widely used in various fields, whether its
STEM based
Add a hyphen
STEM-based
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or a business.
This
is
due to
the extreme convenience of IT to
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
race. So, even interactions that would make more sense to be held face to face
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
then
performed online. I truly believe
this
has its own advantages and disadvantages ,
however
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do lean more towards the negative impact of IT in the near future. In the following paragraph, I will be introducing my personal experience and opinions towards my view.
Firstly
, the growth of IT is increasing at a rate
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
that
absolutely immeasurable, many users from ages 9 to 75 now know how to use emails and the web to communicate or perform tasks. Unfortunately,
due to
this
,
theres
Correct your spelling
there's
there
a high risk of individuals coming across hackers, or spam emails that ask for personal details. Personally, a
fews
Correct your spelling
few
days ago, I
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
an email asking me to put down my credit card details to sign up for an online course,
however
,
this
email wasn't sent to me by the one I registered on the website.
Moreover
, the username and email seemed
bizzare
Correct your spelling
bizarre
.
Therefore
, I decided to contact the owner of the website and report the issue.
Furthermore
,
although
the comfort of talking from your own space at home,
it
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apply
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comes with more risks. People will prefer staying in their beds rather than speaking with a person in an office space.
This
could cause an increase in obesity
amongst
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among
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humans. Increased obesity could lead to larger health problems which
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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mental health indirectly in a negative way. In practice, during the pandemic Covid-19, there was a rise in patients in hospitals
due to
depression induced by residing in their rooms 24/7. In the long run,
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
homosapiens
Correct your spelling
homo-sapiens
will
loose
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lose
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proffesionality
Correct your spelling
professionality
and connectivity towards others of our own kind
due to
IT. In conclusion, I strongly agree that after a long time, the negative impacts of fast-developing IT programs will only grow more in number.
This
will be mainly because
higher
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a higher
the higher
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concentration of countries are more keen to make online resources their standardised source of
interacting
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interaction
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.
Positivity
Correct article usage
The positivity
show examples
of IT can only be preserved by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moderate use
of
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apply
show examples
it
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apply
show examples
.
Submitted by routmanmayee on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while the essay maintains a basic logical structure, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Usage of cohesive devices is noticed but could be enhanced for a more seamless reading experience. Ensure introduction and conclusion not only exist but are sufficiently developed to frame the essay's main points effectively.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, the response addresses the requirements of the task, but it is essential to ensure that examples are fully developed and directly linked to the argument. The position is somewhat clear throughout the essay, but there could be a more thorough exploration and balance of both positive and negative aspects as per the essay question. Additionally, staying on topic without deviating to loosely related subjects, like during the health discussion, would be advisable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

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  • to illustrate this
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  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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