*In the last 20years, there has been significant development in the field of information technology (IT), for example in World wide web and communication by email. However these development in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future.* *To wat extent do you agree with this view* *Give reasons for your answer and give any example from your own experience or knowledge*
#*in #years #development #field #information #technology #world #web #communication #email #effects #future #*to #wat #view* #*give #knowledge*
Information Technology is widely used in various fields, whether its
STEM based
or a business. Add a hyphen
STEM-based
This
is due to
the extreme convenience of IT to human
race. So, even interactions that would make more sense to be held face to face Correct article usage
the human
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
then
performed online. I truly believe this
has its own advantages and disadvantages ,however
, i
do lean more towards the negative impact of IT in the near future. In the following paragraph, I will be introducing my personal experience and opinions towards my view.
Change the capitalization
I
Firstly
, the growth of IT is increasing at a rate thats
absolutely immeasurable, many users from ages 9 to 75 now know how to use emails and the web to communicate or perform tasks. Unfortunately, Correct your spelling
that's
that
due to
this
, theres
a high risk of individuals coming across hackers, or spam emails that ask for personal details. Personally, a Correct your spelling
there's
there
fews
days ago, I Correct your spelling
few
recieved
an email asking me to put down my credit card details to sign up for an online course, Correct your spelling
received
however
, this
email wasn't sent to me by the one I registered on the website. Moreover
, the username and email seemed bizzare
. Correct your spelling
bizarre
Therefore
, I decided to contact the owner of the website and report the issue.
Furthermore
, although
the comfort of talking from your own space at home, it
comes with more risks. People will prefer staying in their beds rather than speaking with a person in an office space. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
could cause an increase in obesity amongst
humans. Increased obesity could lead to larger health problems which Change preposition
among
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
the
mental health indirectly in a negative way. In practice, during the pandemic Covid-19, there was a rise in patients in hospitals Correct article usage
apply
due to
depression induced by residing in their rooms 24/7. In the long run, us
Correct pronoun usage
we
homosapiens
will Correct your spelling
homo-sapiens
loose
Replace the word
lose
proffesionality
and connectivity towards others of our own kind Correct your spelling
professionality
due to
IT.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that after a long time, the negative impacts of fast-developing IT programs will only grow more in number. This
will be mainly because higher
concentration of countries are more keen to make online resources their standardised source of Add an article
a higher
the higher
interacting
. Replace the word
interaction
Positivity
of IT can only be preserved by Correct article usage
The positivity
the
moderate use Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
it
.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while the essay maintains a basic logical structure, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Usage of cohesive devices is noticed but could be enhanced for a more seamless reading experience. Ensure introduction and conclusion not only exist but are sufficiently developed to frame the essay's main points effectively.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, the response addresses the requirements of the task, but it is essential to ensure that examples are fully developed and directly linked to the argument. The position is somewhat clear throughout the essay, but there could be a more thorough exploration and balance of both positive and negative aspects as per the essay question. Additionally, staying on topic without deviating to loosely related subjects, like during the health discussion, would be advisable.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example