Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Thought by
some
people that cultivating Capitalize word
Some
trees
in the
open areas both countryside and urban is more crucial rather than Correct article usage
apply
improve
housing for Wrong verb form
improving
human
. In my perspective, I agree with Fix the agreement mistake
humans
this
case as I strongly believe that trees
will be needed to alleviate climate change effects and empower healthy impact for mankind
generation
Change noun form
mankind's
Firstly
, planting trees
in each region can inevitably lead to climate change reduction ranging, absorbing carbon dioxide in earth and also
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
oxigen
for making fresh air. Correct your spelling
oxygen
Furthermore
, the
air Correct article usage
apply
pollutions
will diminish Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
in
Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the earth
earth
surface and give a Change noun form
earth's
possitive
trend to eradicate the effects of climate change. Correct your spelling
positive
As a result
, the future generation will have a better quality of life, in terms of fresh
atmosphere. Correct article usage
a fresh
This
is supported by a reseach
Correct your spelling
research
of
Change preposition
by
Correct article usage
the world
world
Health Organization in 2022, that countries Capitalize word
World
who
have Correct pronoun usage
that
a
plenty of Remove the article
apply
tress
will have a higher life expectancy rather the countries Correct your spelling
trees
who
do not.
Correct pronoun usage
that
Secondly
, however
, each individual desire to has
at least Wrong verb form
have
a
house, Correct determiner usage
one
people
cannot deny that promoting Correct word choice
and people
plant
especially Fix the agreement mistake
plants
trees
to support green spaces has empowered body’s
condition . Correct article usage
the body’s
In other words
, green spaces, such
as parks and gardens, help children to express theirselves
by playing over there, Correct your spelling
themselves
also
provide a simple and nature gim for younger or elderly to do sports, Correct word choice
and also
for instance
, jogging and walking. By the activities, the citizens can be happier by having a
good health which is not just for physically but Remove the article
apply
also
the
mentality of the person.
In Conclusion, housing is needed, but the best investment for both Change preposition
for the
human
and nature is planting Fix the agreement mistake
humans
trees
. Ensuring the future generation will not be severe to take a refreshment breath in every country.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure, and that each paragraph logically follows from the one before. Transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument can be improved.
coherence cohesion
Although your main ideas are present, they are occasionally obscured by language errors. Practice using a variety of sentence structures and focus on clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have included main points supported by reasons, but providing more specific examples and data will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
While you addressed the task prompt, to score higher, clearly state your position in the introduction and ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea relating to the topic to provide a complete response.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant, but at times they can be more comprehensive. Expand on your points to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
To enhance the score, include a range of relevant, specific examples to support your ideas. The reference to the WHO research is good but could be elaborated upon for greater impact.
