IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #plant #trees #spaces #towns #cities
Thought by
some
Capitalize word
Some
show examples
 people that cultivating
trees
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
open areas both countryside and urban is more crucial rather than
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 housing for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. In my perspective, I agree with
this
 case as I strongly believe that
trees
 will be needed to alleviate climate change effects and empower healthy impact for
mankind
Change noun form
mankind's
show examples
 generation
Firstly
, planting
trees
 in each region can inevitably lead to climate change reduction ranging, absorbing carbon dioxide in earth and
also
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
oxigen
Correct your spelling
oxygen
 for making fresh air.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 will diminish
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Change noun form
earth's
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 surface and give a
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 trend to eradicate the effects of climate change.
As a result
, the future generation will have a better quality of life, in terms of
fresh
Correct article usage
a fresh
show examples
 atmosphere.
This
 is supported by a
reseach
Correct your spelling
research
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
world
Capitalize word
World
show examples
 Health Organization in 2022, that countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
 will have a higher life expectancy rather the countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 do not.
Secondly
,
however
, each individual desire to
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 at least
a
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 house,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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 cannot deny that promoting
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
 especially
trees
 to support green spaces has empowered
body’s
Correct article usage
the body’s
show examples
 condition .
In other words
, green spaces,
such
 as parks and gardens, help children to express
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 by playing over there,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 provide a simple and nature gim for younger or elderly to do sports,
for instance
, jogging and walking. By the activities, the citizens can be happier by having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good health which is not just for physically but
also
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 mentality of the person. In Conclusion, housing is needed, but the best investment for both
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and nature is planting
trees
. Ensuring the future generation will not be severe to take a refreshment breath in every country.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure, and that each paragraph logically follows from the one before. Transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument can be improved.
coherence cohesion
Although your main ideas are present, they are occasionally obscured by language errors. Practice using a variety of sentence structures and focus on clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have included main points supported by reasons, but providing more specific examples and data will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
While you addressed the task prompt, to score higher, clearly state your position in the introduction and ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea relating to the topic to provide a complete response.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant, but at times they can be more comprehensive. Expand on your points to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
To enhance the score, include a range of relevant, specific examples to support your ideas. The reference to the WHO research is good but could be elaborated upon for greater impact.

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