IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In several
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
show examples
,
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schools it is necessary for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
Use synonyms
use the
Verb problem
to wear
show examples
uniforms
Use synonyms
 during the year. Having
uniforms
Use synonyms
 in the
school
Use synonyms
 could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more advantages overweight the drawbacks. One evident benefit to having
uniforms
Use synonyms
 in the
school
Use synonyms
 is the promotion of equality, promotion a sense of equality and
non discriminatory
Add a hyphen
non-discriminatory
show examples
 among the
students
Use synonyms
. Regardless of
socieconomic
Correct your spelling
socioeconomic
fot
Correct your spelling
fact
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all
students
Use synonyms
were
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
 the same
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
 reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic disparities.
For example
Linking Words
, in Brazil all
school
Use synonyms
 until
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 grade every
Use synonyms
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 need to
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
wear
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
uniforms
Fix the agreement mistake
uniform
show examples
,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
 of that the
students
Use synonyms
 can not
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
disparite
Correct your spelling
disparate
disparity
 economic in what kind of clothes they are using, everyone is equal inside the
school
Use synonyms
. And
also
Linking Words
 gives an air of improved
disciplined
Replace the word
discipline
show examples
 and behaviour
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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abvious
Correct your spelling
obvious
 disadvantages to
Wrong verb form
having
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have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
uniforms
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
, the financial burden on families, because
uniforms
Use synonyms
 can be
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 additional fee
Replace the word
charged
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charge
Wrong verb form
charged
show examples
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
families, especially if the
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
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 are expensive. That can be a problem for families
how
Correct word choice
who
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dont
Correct your spelling
do not
 have enough money to pay for every year a new uniform for their children, for that reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
most of them are
a
Change the article
apply
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expensive and the
gorvenment dont
Correct your spelling
government does
 help to
buy
Correct pronoun usage
buy them
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
 not
using
Verb problem
wearing
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
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 gives a negative sense of a not serious and disciplined academic,
for example
Linking Words
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States most of
schooling
Add an article
the schooling
show examples
 there the
studets
Correct your spelling
students
student
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
wear
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 uniforme,
thus
Linking Words
 you have no idea how make part of the
school
Use synonyms
 among the
students
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 its not a good view. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uniforms
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a great idea
between
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
, but still
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 disadvantages. But in my opinion the advantages overweight the disadvantages, if we don't have
uniforms
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 in Brazil the disparities economic among the
students
Use synonyms
it was
Verb problem
are
show examples
 higher.

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Coherence & Cohesion
When addressing the task, it's crucial to ensure each paragraph develops a main idea related to the question. Aim to present clear and logically structured arguments, ordering your ideas in a way that enhances understanding. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic that is developed logically and not rushed.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are integral to the structure of your essay. They must clearly state the topic and your position, and also provide a summary of your main points. These need to be present and well-developed to frame your discussion appropriately.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your ideas with specific examples and reasons to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic. While you've presented some examples, ensure they directly support your arguments and are fully developed to convince the reader of your perspective.
Task Achievement
Respond to all parts of the task, making sure your response is relevant and comprehensive. You have made an attempt to discuss advantages and disadvantages, yet the ideas could be more fully developed. Elaborate on your arguments in more depth to provide a balanced and complete response.
Task Achievement
Ideas presented in the essay should be clear and detailed. Work on expanding your explanations and providing deeper insights. Strive for comprehensive development of your points to show a robust understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Providing relevant examples is key to a well-developed essay. Ensure that your examples are pertinent and reinforce your main points effectively. Expand on your examples to make them more detailed and illustrative of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mandatory
  • Disparities
  • Fostering
  • Belonging
  • Simplifies
  • Self-expression
  • Individuality
  • Entail
  • Additional costs
  • Uniformity
  • Bullying
  • Discrimination
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