Some people think that spending a lot on holding weddings, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views.
Some are of the opinion that parties like weddings, birthdays and other sort of celebrations are important for the person and society.
However
, there are other kinds of individuals with the opinion that throwing this
celebration is a waste of money
. This
essay will discuss both views.
For those people who enjoy holding their birthdays, weddings or other, it is a self-expression of their happiness and satisfies their need to share
it with their friends and relatives, it is something that helps them to create a bond relationship with them. For this
kind of personality, it is important to create memories that could be recreated anytime in the future through photography, videos and even jokes about the funniest things that happened. A good example that helps to recreate this
essay is the difference in personalities between my brother and myself, my brother loves to create moments in his life
to build up his memories, like his wedding, important dates on his offspring's births, his family birthday parties and then
in some occasions we spare a family time where together recreate those important moments watching our records and pictures that make us go back in time.
However
, there are other types of personalities that care about their expenses and it does not mean that they do not celebrate their joys, but they do not believe that it is more important to hold a big event at every important moment in their lives will be sustainable for their finances or to showing to anyone else their emotional and important events in life
. Moreover
, this
group of people prefer to save their money
to invest it in other activities or become savings for the future rather than being invested for others to share
their joys. Following the same idea of the example above, I am the opposite way in my personality to express my joy, I care a bit more about which things I will spend my money
on and the important events in life
that I want to share
with others.
In conclusion, there is no definition of how individual must express their joy in terms of celebrating important moments in their life
. It is just a question of perception and choice of how to share
their joy with others and how much money
they want to invest in it.Submitted by mantonieta.albarracin on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a decent structure; however, you should work on ensuring a clear and logical flow throughout the essay. Using clearer topic sentences and more cohesive devices could strengthen the connections between your ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided both views on the issue, but the response could be more complete with a stronger personal position stated in the conclusion, which should be clearly linked back to the introduction for a more rounded argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.