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Band 4.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#governments #progress #people #country
During the
last
 century, many countries have mainly focused on boosting their economy,
therefore
 they have spent huge sums of money trading with different
nations
 and companies.
While
 many experts believe
this
 is the goal
nations
 should pursue, others believe that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
further
 development in other disciplines is as necessary as the financial one. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 ideas in more depth. First and foremost, a great number of
nations
 seek economic growth
due to
 the perception that it will increase their population’s
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
.
For instance
, in the
last
 20 years, China has
experimented
Verb problem
experienced
show examples
 a sharp growth in their economy, caused by the creation of factories and the subsequent trade of those articles.
As a consequence
, China’s population currently has a level of wealth never seen before, allowing most of them to afford higher education, leisure travelling and access to private health services amongst others.
Secondly
,
while
 economic development is
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 for a country, governments and politicians should keep funding science and technology, which could potentially give the country certain advantages over other
nations
 if important discoveries are made. As an example, the country that first finds the cure for the cancer will have in its hands a great discovery that may or may not be profitable but indeed, it will change the course of humanity.
To conclude
, investigating is not possible without
appropiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 funding,
hence
, there is a need for countries to be economically developed before having the ability to progress in science or other disciplines.
Submitted by maria.delrioholgado2 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically by clearly outlining your arguments in the introduction, creating distinct paragraphs for each point, and summarizing key points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your introduction and conclusion by directly addressing the essay question and explicitly stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points further by providing more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task. Discuss both views mentioned in the prompt thoroughly and make your own viewpoint clear and well-supported.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points better. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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