It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?

#people #risk #lives #risks #disavantages

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? 1. in professional, it shows your capability and how you cope with your work, how you decide, example doctor 2. in personal lives, kalo ga ambil risiko ya bakal di comfort zone aja ga berkembang, contohnya lomba bakal buka opportunities untuk kita develop ourself

People

develop themself

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

by taking risk in decision making. In professional work, it can help them to assess their capabilities by working under

pressures

Fix the agreement mistake

pressure

show examples

Meanwhile

Add a comma

Meanwhile,

show examples

in personal matters, they can step out from their comfort zones and discover more of themselves.

Therefore

, I think the benefits of taking risks outweigh the drawbacks. First of all, making risky decisions in jobs can teach

people

how to do

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

This

happens because

people

have to navigate solutions to lower the damages that it may cause.

For instance

, doctors have to take

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

while

operating

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

patients, whether they should go on with the operation or proceed not to take any actions. Because of

this

, it will make them build their capabilities over time. These

also

work

Change preposition

apply

show examples

personally because it makes

people

explore new things in their lives.

For example

, getting married is full of risks but

people

will grow

themself

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

197 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Risk-taking
Professional advancement
Innovation
Personal growth
Fulfillment
Resilience
Pursuit
Potential
Failure
Financial loss
Stress
Relationships
Risk assessment
Risk management
Cultural attitudes
Mitigate

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It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate.Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is important to teach children to protect the environment as it is to teach them to read and write . To what extent do you agree with this statement ?

Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate or pay attention in schools. What could be the reasons for this? What solutions can you suggest?