It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?

#people #risk #lives #risks #disavantages

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? 1. in professional, it shows your capability and how you cope with your work, how you decide, example doctor 2. in personal lives, kalo ga ambil risiko ya bakal di comfort zone aja ga berkembang, contohnya lomba bakal buka opportunities untuk kita develop ourself

People

Use synonyms

develop themself

everyday

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every day

show examples

by taking risk in decision making. In professional work, it can help them to assess their capabilities by working under

pressures

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pressure

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Meanwhile

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Meanwhile,

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in personal matters, they can step out from their comfort zones and discover more of themselves.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I think the benefits of taking risks outweigh the drawbacks. First of all, making risky decisions in jobs can teach

people

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how to do

problem solving

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problem-solving

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This

Linking Words

happens because

people

Use synonyms

have to navigate solutions to lower the damages that it may cause.

For instance

Linking Words

, doctors have to take

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

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while

Linking Words

operating

their

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on their

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patients, whether they should go on with the operation or proceed not to take any actions. Because of

this

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, it will make them build their capabilities over time. These

also

Linking Words

work

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apply

show examples

personally because it makes

people

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explore new things in their lives.

For example

Linking Words

, getting married is full of risks but

people

Use synonyms

will grow

themself

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and

Submitted by ieltswriting91 on Tue Jan 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The current structure is incomplete and lacks a definitive conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing a logically organized essay. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea with supporting sentences that link coherently to the main idea.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas within and between sentences to improve the flow of the essay. This essay has abrupt jumps and lacks transition phrases.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a balanced argument with clear advantages and disadvantages, supported by relevant examples.

task achievement

Extend and support your main points in greater detail. Develop your arguments thoroughly to show the examiner that you can provide a comprehensive response to the question.

task achievement

Include specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This makes your essay more convincing and concrete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

197 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Risk-taking
Professional advancement
Innovation
Personal growth
Fulfillment
Resilience
Pursuit
Potential
Failure
Financial loss
Stress
Relationships
Risk assessment
Risk management
Cultural attitudes
Mitigate

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It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?

Fully explain your ideas

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

It is important for everyone , including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement.

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words.