It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?

People
develop themself
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
by taking risk in decision making. In professional work, it can help them to assess their capabilities by working under
pressures
Fix the agreement mistake
pressure
show examples
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
in personal matters, they can step out from their comfort zones and discover more of themselves.
Therefore
, I think the benefits of taking risks outweigh the drawbacks. First of all, making risky decisions in jobs can teach
people
how to do
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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.
This
happens because
people
have to navigate solutions to lower the damages that it may cause.
For instance
, doctors have to take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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while
operating
their
Change preposition
on their
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patients, whether they should go on with the operation or proceed not to take any actions. Because of
this
, it will make them build their capabilities over time. These
also
work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
personally because it makes
people
explore new things in their lives.
For example
, getting married is full of risks but
people
will grow
themself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

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sentence structure
Include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your main points. Make sure each paragraph has a single, coherent idea.
cohesion
Improve the logical progression of ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices (linking words) and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is clear.
conclusion
Your conclusion should summarise the main points of your essay. It's important to restate your position clearly and explain why you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task response
Ensure that your essay directly answers the question. Provide clear arguments for why you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, with specific examples.
completeness
Expand and complete your sentences. Avoid leaving ideas or sentences unfinished as it detracts from the clarity and impact of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Risk-taking
  • Professional advancement
  • Innovation
  • Personal growth
  • Fulfillment
  • Resilience
  • Pursuit
  • Potential
  • Failure
  • Financial loss
  • Stress
  • Relationships
  • Risk assessment
  • Risk management
  • Cultural attitudes
  • Mitigate
What to do next:
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