It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?

#people #risk #lives #risks #disavantages

People

develop themself

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

by taking risk in decision making. In professional work, it can help them to assess their capabilities by working under

pressures

Fix the agreement mistake

pressure

show examples

Meanwhile

Add a comma

Meanwhile,

show examples

in personal matters, they can step out from their comfort zones and discover more of themselves.

Therefore

, I think the benefits of taking risks outweigh the drawbacks. First of all, making risky decisions in jobs can teach

people

how to do

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

This

happens because

people

have to navigate solutions to lower the damages that it may cause.

For instance

, doctors have to take

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

while

operating

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

patients, whether they should go on with the operation or proceed not to take any actions. Because of

this

, it will make them build their capabilities over time. These

also

work

Change preposition

apply

show examples

personally because it makes

people

explore new things in their lives.

For example

, getting married is full of risks but

people

will grow

themself

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and

Submitted by ieltswriting91 on Tue Jan 16 2024

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sentence structure

Include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your main points. Make sure each paragraph has a single, coherent idea.

cohesion

Improve the logical progression of ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices (linking words) and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is clear.

conclusion

Your conclusion should summarise the main points of your essay. It's important to restate your position clearly and explain why you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

task response

Ensure that your essay directly answers the question. Provide clear arguments for why you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, with specific examples.

completeness

Expand and complete your sentences. Avoid leaving ideas or sentences unfinished as it detracts from the clarity and impact of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

152 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Risk-taking
Professional advancement
Innovation
Personal growth
Fulfillment
Resilience
Pursuit
Potential
Failure
Financial loss
Stress
Relationships
Risk assessment
Risk management
Cultural attitudes
Mitigate

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It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of technology in our daily lives.

The rapid advancement of technology has significantly transformed various aspects of our lives. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this technological progress, and how can individuals and societies adapt to these changes?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Topic: Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.