It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, in certain
people
Change noun form
people's
opinion
, Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
media
, pop culture
, and friends
are being
the main factors that affect a Unnecessary verb
apply
child’s
development
both
in
Change preposition
apply
physical
and Change the word
physically
mental
. Meanwhile, other people Change the word
mentally
believed
that the main factor Wrong verb form
believe
of
a Change preposition
in
child’s
development
is their family who
Correct pronoun usage
which
give
a significant role. Verb problem
plays
Hence
, in this
essay, I will discuss both
views which I will consider now.
Firstly
, a child’s
development
could be affected by the media
and pop culture
they are watching and the friends
they are playing with. This
is because those things
can bring not only valuable lessons but also
things
that can affect the child’s
development
, such
as motoric, sensoric
, and even mental health Correct your spelling
sensory
development
to a child. Consequently
, children
can get both
of
bad and good sides from the Change preposition
apply
things
they are watching of
and playing with. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, some community
think that the Fix the agreement mistake
communities
media
, pop culture
, and friends
could give
Verb problem
apply
influences
Correct subject-verb agreement
influence
to
Change preposition
apply
children’s
growth
.
On the other hand
, family
role could be the one which plays Add an article
the family
a family
important
part Add an article
an important
to
a Change preposition
in
children’s
Fix the agreement mistake
child’s
growth
. Certain individual
think that Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
family
is the one who Correct article usage
the family
are
with Change the verb form
is
children
most of the time so that
Correct word choice
apply
children’s
growth
is a part of family’s
responsibility. Correct article usage
the family’s
For instance
, children
with working family
is different in Fix the agreement mistake
families
the
Correct article usage
apply
both
of
physical and mental conditions than Change preposition
apply
children
who are with their family most of the time in the house. This
means that family plays important things
to
their Change preposition
in
children’s
growth
.
In conclusion, age-linked to child could be affected by two things
, either it is by external factors, such
as media
, other culture
, and their friends
or internal factors like their family.Submitted by amaliasekar30 on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure you have a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement. Your essay lacks clear concluding remarks, which are essential for summarizing your points and clearly stating your opinion.
logical structure
Use a range of cohesive devices to improve the logical flow of your essay. Your paragraphs should smoothly transition from one to the next.
supported main points
Support your main points with detailed examples. Your essay provides general statements without specific evidence to back up your claims.
complete response
To fully address the task, make sure to discuss both views comprehensively and include a clear and well-developed opinion of your own. Your essay touches on both views but does not explore them in depth, and your personal opinion is not explicit.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay occasionally lacks clarity and comprehensive ideas due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Strive to express your ideas more clearly and accurately.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to illustrate and strengthen your points. General statements should be supported by concrete details that demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
