IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
Because today there are a lot of accidents and many people are dying so
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need knackery governments intervene ,
However
 focusing in CHANGE PREPOSITION on It seems that
preposition
Correct article usage
the preposition
show examples
 use may be incorrect here. show examples railways will decrease
this
 problem In my essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 and I will more give evidence that supports it . First , it become a high number of cars nowadays and the number of people
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to increase day by day that means a lot of roads should
be build
Change the verb form
be built
show examples
 and more spending
financial
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
additionally
 the roads need organisation all the time from different requirements like, traffic, policemen and speed control devices,all of
this
 thing can cost the country more many and more time and it cant solve the problem of accidents.
In contrast
Add a comma
,
show examples
having more care with rail way and trend to put plans how can improve can create many benefits for the individual and the governments , In hance , the trains are more safety and no accident happen with it .The second reason is citizens are more comfortable with using it they can do some relationships with each other and in that can
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
 the pollution in countries to make the individuals more healthy. To sump, the government will have better effects when putting hands to develop the railway and I believe the advantages of
this
 project are overweight than
dis advantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
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to provide
Change preposition
of providing
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 life in both said physical and
physiology
Replace the word
physiological
show examples
 way.
Submitted by kazza735 on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in your argument by providing a direct response to the given statement. Your current response lacks focus and does not directly address the extent to which you agree or disagree.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction should clearly state your position and outline the main points that will be discussed. The conclusion should summarize these points and restate your overall stance, providing closure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use logical connectors and clear paragraph structures to ensure a well-organized essay. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by relevant explanation and examples.
task achievement
While you provided some explanations, the arguments would benefit from relevant, specific examples that illustrate your points. These examples add weight to your arguments and make them more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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