In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
common in some countries that elementary or high
school
students
are obligated to wear
uniforms
to
school
.
While
the adoption of
uniforms
might alleviate the challenges associated with selecting daily wardrobes, I contend that the financial strain of purchasing
uniforms
could impose a substantial burden on
parents
. A primary advantage of implementing
school
uniforms
is the promotion of a standardized
appearance
, liberating
students
from the troublesome task of deciding what to wear.
Appearance
constitutes a critical aspect through which children and young adolescents often evaluate and define their social status. If
students
are given the choice to wear their own clothes to
school
, a person’s
appearance
could be overemphasized
while
young
students
will pay less attention to
school
performance or academic achievement.
Nevertheless
, the financial implication of uniform procurement can pose a noticeable financial burden, exacerbated by the rapid growth of children. Not only uniform spending itself could create an unnecessary financial issue, especially
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
both
students
and
parents
from financially challenged families,
parents
may find themselves compelled to purchase
school
uniforms
two or more times as their children undergo growth spurts.
For example
, a child could easily grow from a 130 cm tall
first grade
Add a hyphen
first-grade
show examples
boy to
170
Correct article usage
a 170
show examples
cm tall
8th grade
Add a hyphen
8th-grade
show examples
young
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
teenager, resulting
that
Change preposition
in
show examples
parents
would need
Wrong verb form
needing
show examples
to buy
school
uniforms
3 times
for in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more. More than one hundred thousand dollars on
school
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
certainly is a huge expense
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
families. In conclusion, the enforcement of
uniforms
for young
students
presents both benefits and drawbacks.
While
uniforms
could mitigate the competitive nature of personal
appearance
, the associated financial issue may evolve into a substantial burden to families already grappling with economic challenges.
Submitted by joannechao on

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supported main points
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complete response
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
Offer more relevant and specific examples to support your points, demonstrating a stronger connection between theory and real-life scenarios.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mandatory
  • Disparities
  • Fostering
  • Belonging
  • Simplifies
  • Self-expression
  • Individuality
  • Entail
  • Additional costs
  • Uniformity
  • Bullying
  • Discrimination
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