IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. Others think that there are alternative ways to achieve this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles #alternative
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In these modern days, environmental problems have become a serious issue that cannot be ignored by everyone. When it comes to how to deal with
this
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 obstacle, some
people
Use synonyms
 trust that
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 the price of
fuel
Use synonyms
 for vehicles is the best way to
takcle
Correct your spelling
take
 it.
While
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 I strongly disagree with
this
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 view, I believe there are more approaches to achieve
this
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. First of all, vehicles play a vital role in
everyone
Change noun form
everyone's
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 life, a
major
Correct your spelling
majority
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 of
people
Use synonyms
mush
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
 have
car
Correct article usage
a car
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 or motorbike as their transportation,
Use synonyms
fuel
Correct word choice
and fuel
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 is the basis to
operate
Wrong verb form
operating
show examples
 these
vechicles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
. There is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 doubt that increasing the cost of petrol will
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 some
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
, obviously reducing the amount of
people
Use synonyms
 using cars. The less of
people
Use synonyms
using
Wrong verb form
use
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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, they
will
Verb problem
apply
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choose carpooling,
thus
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,
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
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 congestion problem can be mitigated and air pollution as well.
However
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, it will
also
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 come
along with
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 some disadvantages to
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 of the country.
According to
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 the law of demand, if the price of
fuel
Use synonyms
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it will decrease as well, because
comsumer
Correct your spelling
consumer
consumers
 have limited
finiancial
Correct your spelling
financial
 to spend,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 industry of
fuel
Use synonyms
 will
hit
Add a missing verb
be hit
show examples
 hard.
Therefore
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, I consider it is not
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way to address environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
On the contrary
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,
government
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the government
show examples
 should promote environmental awareness to
public
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the public
show examples
 by organising camps or speeches about
this
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 topic.
In addition
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, eco-friendly activities can be conducted so that participants can learn information
such
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 as
3R
Correct article usage
the 3R
show examples
 principle - reduce, reuse and recycle.
People
Use synonyms
 will have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
 more about
greenhouse
Add an article
the greenhouse
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 effect, global warming and the effect of climate change. Recently, deforestation, illegal fishing and pollution activities have been carried out and affected our earth critically. In these cases,
government
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the government
show examples
 should
imposes
Change the verb form
impose
show examples
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 to punish those lawbreakers to decrease environmental threats.
Besides
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, moral values and environmental knowledge can be taught in school to promote awareness among students. As an individual, our
contibute
Correct your spelling
contributions
 are limited, but many a
liitle
Correct your spelling
little
 makes mickle, we can
act
Verb problem
do
show examples
 some activities in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
for example
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, participating in eco-friendly events, carpooling,
saving
Correct word choice
and saving
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 water and energy. Taking everything into a nutshell,
although
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increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the cost of petrol
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 could be a way to protect our environment, particularly
reducing
Change preposition
by reducing
show examples
 the amount of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 on
road
Correct article usage
the road
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I personally would say that there are alternative ways to achieve
this
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 target
Submitted by sientan04 on

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task achievement
Introduction requires a clear presentation of the main topic, and a clear statement of the writer's opinion.
task achievement
Make sure to address both views before providing your own opinion and ensure that your opinion is consistently clear throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
A more effective use of complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary are needed.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs should be well-organized with clear main ideas followed by supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Check your work for grammatical errors and strive for accuracy in the use of language.
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