The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The bar graph illustrates

medium

Correct article usage

the medium

show examples

of earning of

australian

Change the capitalization

Australian

show examples

residents through seven different types of jobs namely, posted as managers,

professionals

Use synonyms

semi

Add a hyphen

semi-professionals

show examples

professionals

Use synonyms

tradepersons

Correct your spelling

tradespersons

trade persons

, production, classical and labourers in

year

Change the article

the year

show examples

2003.

overall

Linking Words

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

and

females

Use synonyms

working

Change preposition

show examples

various posts kept fluctuating. it is apparent from the graph that

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

leading number of

females

Use synonyms

were employed as

clasical

Correct your spelling

classical

whereas

Linking Words

most

males

Use synonyms

were seen working as

Use synonyms

tradepersons

Correct your spelling

tradespersons

trade persons

Firstly

Linking Words

males

Use synonyms

hired as managers and

professionals

Use synonyms

were almost identical in numbers lying around 600 to 700. it is evident that posts like

professionals

Use synonyms

and

clasical

Correct your spelling

classical

were having

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

least

Correct article usage

the least

show examples

differences between male and female counts.

on the contrary

Linking Words

Use synonyms

tradepersons

Correct your spelling

tradespersons

trade persons

and production

categories

show examples

of employment noticed vast differences numerically among both

sex

Change to a plural noun

sexes

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

,job profiles

such

Linking Words

as labourers had almost 400

males

Use synonyms

and nearly 300

females

Use synonyms

compared to

semi

Add a hyphen

semi-professionals

show examples

professionals

Use synonyms

consisting

nearly

Change preposition

of nearly

show examples

500

males

Use synonyms

and 350

females

Use synonyms

. one of the key highlighting

feature

Change to a plural noun

features

show examples

was less than 200

females

Use synonyms

hired in

Use synonyms

tradepersons

Correct your spelling

tradespersons

trade persons

and production jobs.

Submitted by harvibhatt1705 on Tue Jan 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words professionals, tradepersons, females, males with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

161 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
You are working in a company and you have decided to leave your current employment. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter: Explain why you are leaving. Explain why you have decided to leave your company. Tell your employer what you plan to do after leaving your present employment.
I am writing this letter to inform you that I am going to resign from my current position in this company due to the illness of my parents back in India. I am the only child of my family, thus it is essential for me to look after the situation.
4.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, describe the training course you want to do explain what the company could do to help you say how the course will be useful for your job Write at least 150 words.
I am Simranpreet Kaur Bhullar, working as a sales associate in the Sales and Marketing Department. I am writing to ask your permission for a training course in cardiopulmonary resuscitation as per requested by the HR department.
5
band
Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is sometimes believed that advertisements' main aim were children ought to be banned. This essay strongly agrees with this suggestion for several reasons.
4.5
band
You recently went to a concert amd thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer.I your letter say how you feel about his perfomance, give details of your musical activities, Exlpain how you would like hm to help you with your muscial activities.
My name is Parth patel and I have stay in Taj hotel last month. Where was your musical concert at saturday night. I have First time to listening live song concert and your voice is so clear and nice. In this I will infrom some learn For singing activities with you.
<4
band
With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. what are the advantages and dis advantages of this trend?
I work as a human resourse manager and I do all my work at home. A few months ago, I needed to buy an extra hard driver to arrange my all work files. I bought Sony 1000GB hard driver from your store O'Connell street in May. I was really happy to use this hd until yesterday. Yesterday morning I started to use work files from hd but was reading so long and at least it stuck I tried to turn it on and off the computer but still the same and couldn't open the file.

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You are working in a company and you have decided to leave your current employment. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter: Explain why you are leaving. Explain why you have decided to leave your company. Tell your employer what you plan to do after leaving your present employment.

Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. what are the advantages and dis advantages of this trend?