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Band 5

the rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole . do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #media #relationships #society #communication
THE NUMBER OF
USING
Verb problem
apply
show examples
NETWORKING
SITES
 HAVE AFFECTED PERSONAL CONNECTIONS AND THE PUBLIC. THE BENEFITS OF NETWORKING
SITES
 FOR TRANSMISSION THAT USING TO INCREASE
PEOPLE
'S COLLABORATION AND ACCESS INFORMATION ANYTIME , ANYWHERE EXCEED THE DRAWBACKS OF USING MORE NETWORKING
SITES
.
FIRSTLY
 ,
PEOPLE
 HAVE COME FROM MANY COUNTRIES AND THEY ARE DIFFERENT TO FIT IN WITH THE OTHERS , IN MANY SCHOOLS OR MANY COMPANIES THEY ARE ENCOURAGE
PEOPLE
WORK
 TOGETHER TO FINISH THEIR
WORK
 AND THEY NEED TO
USE
 CLEVER MACHINES. IN MORE
WORK
 THEY CAN EXCHANGE THEIR IDEAS AND FOR A LONG
TIME
 IT WILL INCREASE THEIR COLLABORATION.
FOR EXAMPLE
 , IN MORE HIGH SCHOOLS IN VIETNAM , STUDENTS NEED TO
WORK
 TOGETHER TO LECTURE THEIR LESSONS THEY CAN
USE
 NETWORKING
SITES
 TO GET IN TOUCH AND THEY ARE CONNECT WITH OTHERS.
BY CONTRAST
, USING MORE CLEVER MACHINES FOR A LONG
TIME
 HAS A BIG NEGATIVE EFFECT ON
PEOPLE
'S HEALTH. THEIR EYES WILL BE WEAK AND MORE
PEOPLE
 WILL GET GLASSES IN THE FUTURE . MORE
PEOPLE
USE
 NETWORKING
SITES
 TOO MUCH AND THEY DO NOT TAKE CARE OF THEIRSELF AND THEIR FAMILIES.
FOR EXAMPLE
, IN VIETNAM, MORE
PEOPLE
 ARE EASY TO CROSS WITH SOMETHING AND DO
WORRY
Rephrase
NOT WORRY
show examples
 ABOUT THE NEWS OR
PEOPLE
 WHO LIVE NEARBY , THEY DO NOT TAKE CARE OF THEMSELF AND CAUSE INJURY TO OTHERS.
NONETHELESS
,IN THE LESSON, MORE INFORMATION WHICH
PEOPLE
 DO NOT KNOW THEY CAN RESEARCH ON THE INTERNET SO BY USING IT THEY CAN SAVE
TIME
 TO FINISH
THIS
WORK
 IN LESS
TIME
.IN THE MODERN CENTURY, SOCIAL MEDIA THE MOST NECESSARY FOR
PEOPLE
 LIFE. IN CONCLUSION, USING NETWORKING
SITES
 IS NECESSARY FOR MODERN LIFE AND THEY MAKE THE EARTH GROW BUT
PEOPLE
 NEED TO
USE
 THEM TO FIT IN WITH MORE SITUATIONS AND I THINK
PEOPLE
 SHOULD DECREASE THEIR
TIME
 TO USING CLEVER MACHINES AND SPEND MORE
TIME
 WITH THEIR FAMILY AND THEIRSLF.
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coherence cohesion
It is essential to write an IELTS essay with proper sentence structure, punctuation, and paragraphing to ensure clarity in expressing ideas. Avoid writing in all caps as it appears as though you are shouting and it is not academically professional. Ensure you use proper punctuation and clear sentence structures for better readability.
task achievement
Your essay must directly address the essay prompt. Ensure that your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is clear and that your conclusion summarizes this effectively. Each body paragraph should contain a single clear idea that is expanded upon with relevant examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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