One of the consquences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantacges of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#consquences #care #people #life #expectancy #advantacges #outweigh

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

With significant improvements in medical

care

over the past decades, it is evident that

people

are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. I believe that the advantages of

this

topic outweigh the disadvantages. On one hand, Improved medical

care

means that one can be diagnosed with a problem more quickly and can be taken

care

of in a more effective way

while

also

increasing their life expectancy. It could

also

improve the quality of life for some

people

who have been suffering from a disease for a very long time like HIV or cancer

while

also

increasing a country's position on the happiness index. It

also

means that doctors can rely on technology which is more precise. Improved healthcare

also

means prescriptions and medicines which are cheaper, which could be helpful for the needy.

Moreover

, improved medical

care

in a country

also

boosts its economy as

people

from around the world come for the benefits it provides.

On the other hand

, improved medical

care

may not be affordable to the general public as new technology could require more money

while

also

not being accessible to everyone.

Furthermore

people

might not trust new technology over doctors

due to

a lack of trust in machines.

To conclude

, I strongly believe that improved health

care

improves not only the

people

of a country

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but the whole world and

while

I think that the advantages of improved medical

care

outweigh the disadvantages I

also

think that improved medical

care

should be free of cost or affordable to everyone like in Europe.

Submitted by satyarthverma88 on Sat Aug 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider elaborating more on specific examples to strengthen your points. Mentioning actual cases or statistics could amplify your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that each idea flows smoothly to the next. The connection between the paragraphs can be made more seamless.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical errors and ensure clarity in sentences. For instance, 'one can be diagnosed with a problem more quickly...' can be revised for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are clearly present and provide a good framework for the essay.

task achievement

Your main points are relevant and generally well-supported.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
medical care
disease management
surgical techniques
economic growth
workforce
family bonds
social contribution
healthcare systems
chronic disease
geriatric care
pension systems
resource allocation
quality of life

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Public transportation is a great way to travel, particularly within a metropolis. The metro is the most convenient way to get around a city. Do you agree or disagree?
Really, children are not born with instructions to maintenance. So, it maybe seems logically to participate on some parenting class for purpose to understand what does it means to be a parent. For my opinion, it may be right for young parents before childbirth, and only some instructions about the first days of life. But in my experience, the basic habits, knowledge, aims we can convey to our children without any special classes. Moreover, I can say that I disagree with the statement in the topic for several reasons.
5
band
The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Prioritising education for younger generation is universally acknowledged, with countries investing significant resources in this endeavour. While educating adults who lack basic literacy skills is important, diverting more financial resources towards this cause may not be the most effective strategy. In this essay, I will argue against the notion that educating adult illeterate is more important, and government should allocate additional funds to the education of the adults who cannot read or write.
6
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Some children and teenagers use their phones every day. This is because there are lots of functions of these gadgets; however, I do not agree with this statement due to health problems after using telephones for hours.
5.5
band
In some countries, student pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages.
Students in some countries have to pay for higher education themselves, while it is the government's responsibility in other nations. The latter is beneficial because because it encourages more people to enroll in these institutes, and study without unnecessary financial worries. This essay will argue that these advantages take precedence over the few disadvantages that government support offers.
4
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

One of the consquences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantacges of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Public transportation is a great way to travel, particularly within a metropolis. The metro is the most convenient way to get around a city. Do you agree or disagree?

The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some countries, student pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.