The rise off social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

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Whether people should use social
media
and take
advantage
of it, especially when using social
media
for communication outweighs
this
is a recurring argument.
This
writer argues that the benefits of using social platforms to avoid taking
advantage
outweigh the drawbacks of the laziness of going outside. The most advantageous factor of using social websites is that it is more convenient to communicate with someone.
In other words
, wasting less time preparing something before going out or easily communicating without spending money on transportation ,
for example
, is the most influential point to converse through social
media
. From prior knowledge, most students studying at home use their phones to make video calls to do projects
instead
of organizing meetings in a cafe and so on.
Thus
, taking
advantage
of social platforms is that giving more convenient to communicate with someone. Avoiding taking
advantage
of too much social
media
such
as for communicating must
also
be considered. I must recognise that people should leave their houses and haunt them to avoid the disadvantage of using phones to communicate.
As a result
, a change in the environment, even the population on over the world can improve the use of social
media
to decrease the air pollution caused by transportation and the population, and so on. Taking all points into account, the possible impact of human laziness is outweighed by the convenience of communicating.
Hence
, social
media
has affected positively personal relationships and society as a whole.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure, which affects the coherence and cohesion of your argument. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and subsequent sentences follow logically. Aim to use cohesive devices effectively to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, make sure these paragraphs are well-developed and effectively introduce and summarize the main points of your argument. Use a thesis statement in your introduction and a final thought in your conclusion to make your position clear.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with concrete examples and clear explanations. Your essay contains general statements and lacks detailed examples to illustrate your points. Specific examples are essential to demonstrate your understanding of the topic and to make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
You need to address all parts of the task to achieve a higher task achievement score. In this case, discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of social media seems unbalanced and incomplete. You should develop each side of the argument fully to meet the task requirements.
task achievement
It is essential that your ideas are clear, comprehensive, and directly related to the question. Avoid ambiguous and vague sentences that do not add value to your argument. Clarity and precision are vital for an effective response.
task achievement
Providing relevant and specific examples strengthens your essay by showing your knowledge and the ability to relate abstract ideas to real-life situations. Aim to include at least one strong example for each main point in your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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