The rise of social media has affected personal relations and society as a whole. Do the advantage of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages? (KN)

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The development of social networking has an impact on
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
show examples
and
society
Replace the word
societal
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relationships of each
people
Change noun form
person's
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comment. The writer of
this
essay
think
Change the verb form
thinks
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that the benefits of using social
media
for
communication
outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, there are a number of benefits from using social networks to communicate.
Firstly
, they facilitate
communication
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern times as now
people
can globally connect with old friends and relatives or with others who share common interests that give you a lot of information in every field
such
as sport, market and everyone can read it and know what
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
happening at the moment.
For example
, Facebook is currently providing service for 2.4 billion users who can choose to connect and interact with anyone they want, regardless of where they are.
Secondly
, study sessions are frequently happening on social networking websites through live streaming services.
Therefore
, learners around the world now can have free access to online classes on
such
sites. Another point to consider is that social
media
also
helps individuals not to be shy when they are in a talk with their friends or maybe strangers. Nowadays, social platforms are developing successfully and
people
tend to have video calls or chat with their friends rather than face-to-face with each other.
For instance
, individuals can have virtual interactions with
people
that they have never met before , which can undermine the level of shyness between them. There was,
however
, a large number of
people
who felt that social networking sites could lead to a lack of
communication
among
people
. Through online platforms, individuals can connect to others without any direct meetings. These trends easily cause a decrease in the ability to connect, which makes
people
rely heavily on the
media
and for a long time , there will be isolation between
people
and the world. In conclusion, social platforms bring various benefits in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of connection and accessibility
although
there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
using social
media
for
communication
.
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structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that articulately communicates the argument. Introduction and conclusion were present but could be more distinctive and conclusive.
development
Make sure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that relates to the main theme, and that following sentences elaborate on that point. This essay could benefit from more concise and focused topic sentences that clearly outline the main argument.
linking
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs. Try to avoid repetition and strive for more variety in sentence structures.
task response
Remember to address the prompt fully, covering both sides of the argument. The essay should include a balanced discussion of both the pros and cons of social media in communication, including examples.
examples
Expand on ideas by providing clear, relevant examples that support your arguments. Although the essay has examples, more specific incidents or data can strengthen the position and provide more convincing support.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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