The rise of social media affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantage of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantage?

It is a fact that the increase
of
Change preposition
in
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social
media
has a big impact on personal relationships and society in general.
This
essay will discuss both views and give the merits of social
media
offset the disadvantages it brings. The crucial benefit of social
media
is allowing people to connect with each other regardless of distance. Take some overseas student
s
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apply
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as an example, they can connect or chat with their parents in their hometown
instead
of sending letters as in the past.
Moreover
, social
media
is networking you can video call the others and can see how are they at that moment through the cameras.
In addition
, in
this
digital era, everyone has at least a smartphone of their own so making friends is not only a difficult problem but
also
possible to get acquainted with citizens in the other hemisphere.
Furthermore
, among students, social
media
is
also
a good medium to learn or make friends. The most popular form of advertisement is publicizing on social
media
.
As a result
, more students can sign in to these courses and connect with their teachers through a screen. Aside from learning, it helps students to get on well with their friends and keep in contact with them through the years.
However
, social
media
can be addictive
by
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for
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some people if they do not use it for the right purpose or depend on it too much.
Besides
, there are many toxic relationships on social
media
that can harm users, especially children.
For example
, most of
phenomena
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the phenomena
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of verbal violence have occurred on mediums. In conclusion, social
media
have a positive impact on people in
this
digital era but conventional customs are believed to be endangered.
Finally
, users need to be conscious when using social
media
to prevent them from the harm of these mediums
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task achievement
While the essay does attempt to address the question, the response is somewhat underdeveloped. To achieve a higher score, ensure that ideas are expanded upon with additional examples and fully explored arguments. Consider both sides of the issue more equally, providing a deeper analysis that shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits basic logical structuring but still requires improvement to flow more naturally. Transitions between ideas should be smooth, and the relationship between sentences and paragraphs must be made clear through the use of cohesive devices and topic sentences.
task achievement
It's important to present real-world examples to substantiate claims. Try to incorporate specific, relevant instances that support your points, which add depth to your argument and demonstrate a wider understanding of the topic's implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global village
  • Virtual community
  • Networking
  • Cyberbullying
  • Digital footprint
  • Echo chambers
  • FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • User-generated content
  • Data mining
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