The rise of social media had affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
The development of social
media
has caused some impressive impacts on public
and the relationship between Correct article usage
the public
people
. This
writer believes that this
method can help people
to keep in touch and improve our ability to build new relationships
outweigh
Wrong verb form
outweighing
its
drawback of lacking physical interaction.
The Change the word
the
most
Correct word choice
biggest
advantages
of using social Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
media
is that people
can keep contact
with old connections. Change preposition
in contact
As they
still have conversations through Correct word choice
They
the
video Correct article usage
apply
call
even Fix the agreement mistake
calls
long
geographical Change preposition
at long
distance
. It will help Fix the agreement mistake
distances
people
to foster the
old Correct article usage
apply
relationships
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
friends
and family. So, social Change preposition
with friends
media
plays an intergal
role in helping connect Correct your spelling
integral
people
together.
Other benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
Another benefit
socail
Correct your spelling
social
media
brings is that people
can build new relationships
by using social webs. For
this
reason, people
tend to talk about their personal perference
on the Internet, Correct your spelling
preference
preferences
therefore
, other person
will see and can share other's interests more easily. Change the wording
another person
other people
As a result
, people
will construct many friendships also
relationships
through their hobbies. Therefore
, social media
will promote the closeness of human
.
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
However
, its drawback can make
a big influence on Verb problem
have
people
as lacking body interaction. Cause
Correct your spelling
Because
people
only contact with the screen not
with Add the comma(s)
, not
the
Correct article usage
apply
human
. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
This
point may be true, but if encouraging people
to communicate with each other more, this
problem can be solved.
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I am the opinion of that the positive effects that social media
has on our communication are outweighed by the disadvantages.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. It is important to present your ideas in a manner that is easy to follow and understand. Begin with an introductory paragraph that clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. Subsequent paragraphs should expand on these points, with each paragraph containing one main idea supported by examples or explanations. A concluding paragraph should summarize your argument and restate your position. Avoid abrupt transitions between points and ensure coherence by using cohesive devices effectively.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task, your response is incomplete and your ideas need to be elaborated further. Make sure to fully develop your arguments with clear and comprehensive ideas that directly respond to the prompt. Include a balance of discussion for both the advantages and disadvantages of social media use in communication, and clearly explain how one outweighs the other with specific reasons and examples. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that contributes to your overall position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.