The rise of social media has affcted personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

The social
Correct article usage
Social
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media
has
change
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changed
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how we communicate with each other. The author of
this
essay
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
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that the benefits of using social
media
,
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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in touch with everyone,
share
Replace the word
and sharing
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interests can outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of misinformation in social
media
. First of all, social
media
can
provided
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
a procedure for individuals to connect with others
throughout
Change preposition
through
show examples
their phones or laptops. Making it easier to stay in touch with friends and family who are far away.
For instance
, in 2022,
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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has spread all over the world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and has revolutionized the way we live, including how we connect with others
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apps like Facebook, Twitter, Zalo and so on.
Secondly
, it has facilitated the creation of online communities where people can share interests, support each other, and find a sense of belonging. When you can
fostering
Wrong verb form
foster
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creativity and self-expression
while
implement
Change the verb form
implementing
show examples
the idea to everyone. And create a strong sense of how we connect
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
generation.
However
, social
media
can
also
lead to decreased face-to-face interactions, which might affect the quality of personal relationships.
This
can be noticed by looking
how
Change preposition
at how
show examples
we change from
chat
Wrong verb form
chatting
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with each other face-to-face to using
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
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.
This
is a disadvantage for everyone in
this
generation
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
they use technology too much. But if we can adjust the time we use
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
,
then
that won't be a problem. In conclusion, we can expect how social
media
has
affcted
Correct your spelling
affected
personal relationships and society and the disadvantage it
effect
Change the verb form
effects
show examples
us.
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Task Achievement
Ensure the essay directly addresses the task prompt throughout the response. The thesis statement could be clearer and provide a better outline of the essay's direction. Both advantages and disadvantages should be discussed with a balanced approach to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay's organization can benefit from clearer and logical transitions between ideas. The use of cohesive devices can be improved to help ideas flow from one to the other more smoothly.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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