IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many types of professionals
such
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 as doctors and engineers are one of the most significant careers that support the
country
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. Many
people
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 believe that these types of jobs need to be
work
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 in the same
country
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 Use synonyms agrarianbucolichomeyprovincialrusticarcadianagresticcampestralcountrifiedgeorgic It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. that they have learnt because they are efficient jobs that move forward the
country
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.
While
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,
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apply
show examples
 some
people
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 believe that everyone has a right to decide their future career and every job should be independent. In my opinion, I agree that all careers are able to make decisions that which
country
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 they want to
work
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.
Whereas
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. every
country
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 has conditions of employment and not everyone has the possibility to reach their conditions. Some professionals are not sufficient enough in Thailand, Our government knows
this
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 circumstance and attempts to find solutions
such
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 as providing scholarships for students with conditions that they need to back to our
country
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 and
work
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 there for a few years.
Besides
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, for the jobs that have specialist skills like doctors and engineers, they try to provide the benefits that attract their population.
Also
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, the government cooperates with some businesses and provides other advantages for them
such
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 as discounts for restaurants or accommodations. Nowadays, in Thailand, new generations of young
people
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 are highly ambitious and extremely interested want to
work
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 abroad. One of the reasons that they prefer to
work
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 in another
country
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 is better income. Some countries particularly Europe offer better salaries which attract many
people
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.
However
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, it's not easy to apply for a job in another
country
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due to
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 the requirements being higher than the condition of their population. In conclusion, there are some
people
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 who would like to
work
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 abroad rather than stay in their original
country
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whereas
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 some are not. The main reason
that is
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 impacted
people
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 to make the decision is about income. In the future, I think there will still be both groups of
people
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 who prefer to stay and
work
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 in the
country
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 that they study or some
people
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 who are interested to go another
country
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. To avoid the situation of lacking employees in every
country
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 I believe that the government in every
country
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 will try to persuade their
people
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 to stay there.

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structure
Clarify your stance in the introduction to make your opinion more explicit. Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument.
content
You have made a relevant point about the ambitions of young professionals wanting to work abroad, showing an understanding of current trends.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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