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Band 5

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #media #relationships #society #communication
Social
media
 has indeed had a significant impact on personal relationships and society.
This
 author argues that the benefits of using communication on social
media
 surpass the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
. The most advantageous factor of using social networking sites for communication is
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 ability to connect
people
 from all over the world. It allows individuals to stay in touch with friends and family, regardless of geographical distances. Social
media
 platforms provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convenient communication. From the mentioned knowledge, the attraction of Facebook and Instagram has increased and had a great impact on
people
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
 the world. They can stay in touch with their friends and make friends with strangers. Through that, the social site illustrates the convenience of connecting
people
 from all over the world. Another point of view must
also
 be considered that social
media
 has played a crucial role in promoting social causes and raising awareness about important issues. It has given a voice to marginalized communities, allowing them to share their stories and advocate for change. Social
media
 platforms have become powerful tools for activism, enabling individuals to mobilize and rally support for various causes.
However
, one major concern is the impact of social
media
 on mental health. Because of the internet distraction, many
people
 become addicted and insensitive to everything
around
Correct pronoun usage
around them
show examples
. Thereby,
people
 need to use it reasonably and scientifically, they should only use it for about 2 hours a day. Taking all points into account, there is no doubt that social networking sites have more advantages than disadvantages in both social and schooling fields.

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Task Achievement
To improve in Task Achievement, ensure that all parts of the question are addressed and that your opinion is clear throughout the essay. It's important to analyze both sides of the argument before reaching a conclusion that reflects the progression of your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, it is essential to organize your ideas more logically and ensure they are well-connected. Using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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