Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

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The topic of deserving

salaries

Use synonyms

according to

Linking Words

different sectors has long been a debatable topic. A common significant question is always standing in front of whether

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

deserve more

salaries

Use synonyms

compared to media and sports celebrities or either way around .

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, the societal pillars, namely,

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

deserve more recognition and

salaries

Use synonyms

for their huge contribution towards society rather than celebrities belonging to the entertainment and sports sectors. The health sector and educational sector are reprehensible for the future outcome of societies. The

teachers

Use synonyms

are considered the epitome of knowledge and cultivate well-rounded

individuals

Use synonyms

to foster a strong and vibrant societal structure.

Therefore

Linking Words

, wisdom is the pillar of not only cultivating stronger societies but

also

Linking Words

intelligent

individuals

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, strengthening the younger generations' backbone of knowledge will aid in enormous benefits for the country and ensure a brighter future. Thence, the position of a teacher should be respected and

well paid

Add a hyphen

well-paid

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the

doctors

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and

nurses

Use synonyms

are considered God in physical form,

due to

Linking Words

the fact that they hold

capability

Add an article

the capability

show examples

to bring human lives back from the dead. The honorary people,

such

Linking Words

doctors

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and

nurses

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, possess not only knowledge but

also

Linking Words

credibility of work. A great example would be the heart-wrenching time of the pandemic Covid-19 which has caused a human death spree. Every second people used to die

due to

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

disastrous ailments and only the

doctors

Use synonyms

and

nurses

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went beyond their way and helped save human beings from

such

Linking Words

a violent pandemic.

Therefore

Linking Words

, these

individuals

Use synonyms

are the saviour of our species

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

hence

Linking Words

deserve more significance regarding finance. In conclusion, Both

teachers

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and,

doctors

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and

nurses

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deserve higher

salaries

Use synonyms

for their essential contribution towards society and mankind than entertainment and sports celebrities. As a suggestion, the government must improve payment policies and provide deserving shares to people

according to

Linking Words

the amount of value those

individuals

Use synonyms

are bringing to society.

nehakarmakar45Tue Jan 16 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay has a decent logical structure, with appropriately structured paragraphs. However, to improve, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with better use of cohesive devices.

Coherence & Cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present, yet you could make them more impactful by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and summarising your main points in the conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

You provided clear main points to support your argument. Strengthen your argument by diversifying the types of supporting details used. Including data, quotes from authorities, or real-life examples can provide more depth to your essay.

Task Achievement

You have addressed the task and presented your argument. To enhance your score, ensure that you cover all parts of the prompt completely and develop your points fully. Remember that every aspect of the question should be discussed.

Task Achievement

The ideas in your essay are clearly communicated and fairly comprehensive. However, you might lose marks if your ideas are not fully developed or you do not have a clear position throughout the response.

Task Achievement

Use specific examples to illustrate your points. The examples you provided are too general and lack specificity. Implementing concrete examples from credible sources will strengthen your argument and improve your essay's persuasiveness.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

contribution
essential
well-being
education
training
dedication
entertain
inspire
significant
exorbitant
attract
talented
professions
improve
overall
quality
healthcare
priority
development
citizens

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Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

People are staying more and more at home, these days. What are the causes and effects.

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some People Think That We Live In A Society Where Money And Possessions Are Given Too Much Importance. Others Believe That This Is Improving Our Lives. Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion.

some people think we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom . others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?