More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the causes. What can be done to solve this problem

#animals #verge #extinction #list

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These days, wild

animals

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are on the verge of disappearing and others are at risk of

extinction

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Therefore

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it is important to look at the causes that have resulted in and will continue resulting in the disappearance of some species, and find possible solutions to halt

this

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problem from continuing. To start off, the cause that contributed to the

extinction

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animals

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lies in the changing

environment

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to pursue their daily activities. Wild

animals

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need a specific temperature and nutrition to continue living like they

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

used to in the past decades. The changing in climate extremely affected the wild areas which resulted in an unsupported life

environment

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for these species.

Furthermore

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, people are disturbing the wild space by destroying the forests. Removing trees to build other necessities that only serve humans because people are disturbing the land

that is

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part of

animals

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' homes.

Thus

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, the changes in the

environment

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and destroying forests are the causes of

extinction

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Therefore

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, to control the disappearance of wild

animals

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, rules should be set in areas where

animals

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are pushed to leave,

due to

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the unsupported mode of living. Forests should be protected from any damage, by setting general rules.

This

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will protect these

animals

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and their

environment

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will remain.

Moreover

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, it will be important to look for possible alternatives where

animals

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can be displaced in case their current

environment

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is affected by the change. If an animal used to live in a more tropical area, but

due to

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the changes of temperature in their current area, moving

this

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species to other countries will solve the problem of

extinction

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. In conclusion, people should consider rules and displace

animals

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when necessary to protect these

animals

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from disappearing.

Submitted by ouazilhakima010 on Thu Oct 17 2024

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task achievement

To improve the relevance and specificity of examples, consider incorporating more detailed case studies or data to support the points made. For instance, mention specific species that are endangered because of deforestation and climate change.

coherence cohesion

In terms of coherence, ensure that each paragraph clearly links to the next by using connecting phrases or sentences. This will help in maintaining the flow of ideas and arguments throughout the essay.

task achievement

Further develop some of your ideas by expanding on how and why certain solutions (like relocating animals) would be practical and effective in preventing extinction.

coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for your argument.

coherence cohesion

The main points of your essay are logically structured, fitting well within the discussion and being relevant to the given task.

task achievement

You have effectively identified and addressed the two main causes of animal extinction, which shows a good understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the causes. What can be done to solve this problem

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of the lost item. Write a letter to the insurance manager. In your letter: describe the item you lost, explain how you lost it, tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.