IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the map represet school map in 1985 and now. describe it

the map represet school map in 1985 and now. describe it
The left
map
Use synonyms
 represents the
school
Use synonyms
map
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and the right
map
Use synonyms
 represents the current
school
Use synonyms
map
Use synonyms
. Past and present common elements, albeit in different measures, include
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 park, office, several classrooms, and playing fields. There were major changes in the
school
Use synonyms
 over the years. From both maps, one can observe that there are new features we can access,
such
Linking Words
 as a learning resources centre, a computer room which is part of the learning resources centre, a pool, a fitness centre, and some new classrooms that can accommodate more students. The
map
Use synonyms
 above
also
Linking Words
 informs the change in
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 population. In 1985, the
school
Use synonyms
 had 1500 students, and currently it can fit around 2300 students.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the entrance and the exit remain the same,
although
Linking Words
 the shape of the car park went from a rectangular to a half circle.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we can see that the library, the car park, and the classrooms beside the library have been removed and the playing fields have
also
Linking Words
 decreased in size.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words map, school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: