You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

The exploration
Correct article usage
Exploration
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
has been forthcoming
popular
Correct word choice
and popular
show examples
in developed countries especially for
billionare
Correct your spelling
billionaire
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
while
the
earth
is demanding more attention
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
several essential
problems
. In my opinion, as long as people still live on the
earth
, humans must be reliable to solve the problem in their own
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
before exploring other places.
To begin
,
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the data, observing the
space
must
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
gigantic amount of money. Many people around the world argue that
bill
Correct article usage
the bill
show examples
should be used to tackle
problems
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
earth
.
For instance
, the biggest and obvious
problems
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
issues
such
as climate change which thought by some that changing the outcome of
space
missions to alleviate
this
issue is more valuable for creating a better place for the next generation.
Moreover
, it could be
compared
Wrong verb form
compare
show examples
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the results when the money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
different
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
.
In other words
, taking as a sample, if 100 billion using to explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mars change into solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
cases, the world presumably has become
enviromentally
Correct your spelling
environmentally
friendly and healthy.
In addition
,
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
NASA in 2023,
space
exploration
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
predict
Correct subject-verb agreement
predicts
show examples
littering
space
that presumably
impacting
Wrong verb form
impacts
show examples
the balance of the world. Rockets and several
equipment
Correct quantifier usage
pieces of equipment
show examples
in terms of observation in zero gravity
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
debris floating
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the surface of
space
.
This
issue
is not yet show
Change the verb form
does not yet show
show examples
the detrimental effects directly but
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
assume that negative impacts can appear to the surface impacting human life if the leftover
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
always are added to
space
without early
preventation
Correct your spelling
prevention
presentation
. In conclusion,
although
space
exploration probably
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
to support the technology and knowledge in the future, there are enormous
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
to make true
while
the
earth
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
too many
problems
that can be solved by the money.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Coherence and Cohesion
In your essay, it is important to have a clear and logical structure. Your argument needs to follow a logical sequence, which was somewhat lacking. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and this should be supported by relevant examples or explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that both the introduction and conclusion are presented effectively. The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic and preview the main points of your argument, while the conclusion should effectively summarize your perspective and re-emphasise the strength of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with relevant details and examples. This is critical in demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic. While relevant examples were provided, the essay could benefit from more specific evidence and elaboration to support the argument.
Task Achievement
Your response must address the task fully, which involves making it clear that you agree or disagree with the statement given. Provide a balanced argument with clear, comprehensive ideas. While there were attempts to do so, there is room for improvement in offering a more nuanced or in-depth exploration of the issues presented.
Task Achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. Real-life examples or hypothetical situations that demonstrate your point of view make your argument more convincing. The essay provided some examples but often lacked specificity and detail which could add more weight to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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