In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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People
in the countryside have started to migrate to modern and big cities.
This
is believed to be
due to
a modernization process of the world and its general society. It is argued that
this
occurrence is considered an
overall
positive development. To support
this
argument, the impacts of industrialization and the benefits of a more advanced
education
system will be analyzed
further
through
this
essay.
Firstly
, owing to the advancements made in the industry sector, the proportion of the population needed to work in rural areas is continuously decreasing.
For instance
, nowadays, machines like tractors and automated mills could easily overtake the labour that used to be done by farmers, which resulted in less need for human resources.
Consequently
, most of the work in the countryside could be done easily by only a few
people
,
while
the rest could enhance their skills in the cities.
This
negates the argument that fewer
people
in the countryside could cause a net negative outcome.
Furthermore
, for a country to excel globally, there needs to be a properly designed
education
system, which can only be accessed in bigger, more modern cities.
For example
, in Indonesia, the top 10 best educational institutions are heavily saturated in DKI Jakarta, the capital region of Indonesia. The movement of families from rural to urban areas could enable the younger generations to access far more advanced levels of quality
education
, preparing them to be able to strive in the globalization era.
To conclude
, owing to better access to quality
education
and the ease of burden by machinery automatization, the migration of
people
from rural to urban settings will provide more positive takeaways than negative ones, as the world will continuously adapt to a more modern outlook in the future.
Submitted by avianitad on

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task achievement
Ensure that the argument is balanced by discussing both positive and negative aspects of the topic in order to fully address the question.
task achievement
Work on developing the ideas thoroughly with more detailed examples and evidence to support your argument effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay and ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Include a variety of complex structures and linking words to demonstrate better control over the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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