IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income.to what extend do you agree or disagree?

#consideration #career #job #income
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The important consideration when people are selecting their
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
 is well-paid being and having high salaries as well. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 there is an increasing number of disputes around
this
Linking Words
 subject all worldwide. There exists a significant number of needs that everyone is facing. It seems to be impossible to disregard
such
Linking Words
 essential needs
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 having somewhere to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, healthy food to eat,
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
having fun etc.
Thus
Linking Words
 it necessitates people to earn money for living and
also
Linking Words
 forces them to perform a profession for a period of lifespan. Nowadays, luxury items are
being
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 more and more popular trough youngsters which are not totally necessary,
however
Linking Words
, they spend too much on them. It actually makes them search for a well-paid job even though it can be extremely tough for them.
In addition
Linking Words
 to meeting our fundamental needs,
apparently
Add a comma
apparently,
show examples
 we are all used to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a profession not only
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
requiring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income but
also
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 being in touch with others and
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
 with them which is likely to help us enjoy life better despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being exhausted by our current career.
To sum up
Linking Words
, one of the most crucial factors that must be considered
while
Linking Words
 choosing a job seems to be the acceptable revenue
as well as
Linking Words
 other factors.
That is
Linking Words
 why some people all around the world are struggling to keep up with their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 or find one.
Submitted by sarmastsobhan1994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but the development of ideas is inadequate. It's crucial to present arguments both in favor and against the notion if the task asks for a discussion. Make sure to discuss both sides of the argument to demonstrate a complete understanding of the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
Structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences are necessary to guide the reader through your argument effectively. Ensure each paragraph starts with a topic sentence and follows a logical order, without unnecessary repetition or deviation from the main topic.
task achievement
When offering main points, make sure to back them up with specific supporting examples or reasons. This strengthens the argument and demonstrates task achievement. Including a variety of complex structures and wide-ranging vocabulary is also beneficial.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • passion
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • societal impact
  • income disparity
  • material success
  • monetary compensation
  • wealth accumulation
  • economic well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: