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Band 4

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Thebefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#students #focus #classroom #show #status #clothes #thebefore #school #uniforms
Some people believe that whenever children
at
Add a missing verb
are at
show examples
school
, they must
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
school
uniforms
 in order to keep
students
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 on studying rather than exhibit their position in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by wearing fashionable
outfit
Fix the agreement mistake
outfits
show examples
. I agree with
this
 statement because
uniforms
 can eliminate
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
 and provide equality among
students
.
To begin
 with,
uniforms
 can eliminate
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
. Uniform is a single dress code given by the
school
 and scholars need to comply with the dressing rules.
Hence
, using
uniforms
make
Verb problem
allows
show examples
students
 can focus on academics rather than fashion trends.
For instance
, when I was in
school
 age, the night before
school
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 used to
confuse
Wrong verb form
be confused
show examples
which
Change preposition
about which
show examples
 fashion items I should wear
instead
 of
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
show examples
 the learning schedule because my
school
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not set any
standardize
Replace the word
standardised
show examples
uniforms
. Another plausible argument is
uniforms
 create a sense of equality.
School
 is a pond that
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of vast and diverse communities of
students
 whose backgrounds are different, yet, all of the
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
 have equal opportunity to learn.
Thus
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
wearing a single identity
uniforms
Correct the article-noun agreement
uniform
show examples
 can alleviate peer pressure among
students
 and social class differences.
In addition
,
students
 can confidently socialize
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
without having
worry
Fix the infinitive
to worry
show examples
 about their social status.
Overall
,
uniforms
 are beneficial in order to maintain
students
' focus on learning
instead
 of fashion trends because
wearinf
Correct your spelling
wearing
 similar attire for
students
 at
school
 can reduce
distruption
Correct your spelling
disruption
 and promote equality.
Submitted by hiitsmeee on

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task achievement
Ensure that your opinion is clear and directly pertains to the prompt from the beginning of your essay to guide the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to avoid repetition and to enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Develop examples further to better support your main points and to increase the relevance and impact of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to showcase the relationship between ideas and to improve the cohesion of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic focus
  • fashion trends
  • peer pressure
  • social class disparities
  • disciplinary environment
  • cost-effective
  • school identity
  • sense of belonging
  • individual expression
  • dress codes
  • professional attire
  • body types
  • school spirit
  • creativity suppression
  • equal footing
What to do next:
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