IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave ovens and rice cookers. Is it positive or negative?

#people #range #household #goods #television #microwave #ovens #rice #cookers
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In modern society, it can be witnessed as a phenomenon that a larger number of residents are purchasing various
household
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appliances
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. Despite the presence of potential benefits in
this
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 issue, I am still of the opinion that its drawbacks carry more weight. One positive effect of
household
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products
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 is that they can raise the standard and quality of life. With the development of technology, there are numerous types of domestic
products
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 which can significantly improve the convenience and comfort in many aspects of our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
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, refrigerators help preserve food for a relatively long period during hot summers, televisions provide individuals with diverse recreational options for their leisure time, and air conditioners create a cosier home environment during extreme weather. These
appliances
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 undoubtedly make daily life more manageable and enjoyable.
However
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, it is more important to note the negative aspect of over-reliance on
household
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appliances
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.
Firstly
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, their excessive use has irreversibly environmental consequences. The prolonged operation of these devices leads to a huge consumption of electric power
as well as
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 a large amount of pollution, which may not align with the global efforts toward energy conservation and emission reduction.
Moreover
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, the production and disposal of these
products
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 create additional environmental challenges,
such
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 as electronic waste.
Secondly
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, purchasing a wide range of
household
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products
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 can strain
household
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 budgets. Many items, especially those used less frequently, represent wasted expenditures.
In addition
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, maintenance and electricity costs add to the financial burden, which could
otherwise
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 be allocated to more essential needs. In conclusion,
while
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household
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 goods
such
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 as refrigerators, televisions and air conditioning contribute to a more convenient and comfortable lifestyle, their negative impacts on the environment and financial stability are significant.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe these
appliances
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 should be used thoughtfully to minimize their disadvantages.
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task achievement
Consider expanding on the point about environmental impacts by providing a more detailed explanation of how household appliances contribute to pollution.
task achievement
Try to maintain a balanced argument by presenting more examples or scenarios where the benefits and drawbacks can be seen clearly.
coherence cohesion
For a smoother flow, ensure each paragraph transitions clearly to the next by adding more transition phrases between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
coherence cohesion
The writer supports main arguments with specific examples, such as the role of refrigerators and air conditioners, enhancing credibility.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced perspective, detailing both positive and negative aspects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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