An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healthcare costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Overweight has become a major global public
health
concern, particularly among
children
. The associated
problems
, including long-term
health
risks and increased
healthcare
costs
, make
this
issue critical to
address
.
This
essay will discuss the causes of
children
being overweight and
address
potential solutions. First of all, healthy
foods
, including plant-based food and salad, are often more expensive than unhealthy options
such
as junk
foods
. Many families cannot afford the higher
costs
of nutritious
foods
, leading them to choose cheaper, less healthy alternatives.
In addition
,
children
may not fully understand the long-term consequences of poor food choices. Unlike adults, they are less likely to prioritize their
health
or consider the future financial burdens related to
healthcare
costs
. Since
children
are not yet responsible for managing
healthcare
expenses or insurance, they may overlook the potential impact of their current eating habits on their future well-being.
Therefore
, the government can
address
these
problems
by imposing taxes on junk
foods
. By making unhealthy options more expensive,
children
's preferences might shift towards healthier alternatives.
Furthermore
, schools can play a crucial role in promoting a healthy lifestyle by emphasizing
health
education, which can help
children
make more careful decisions about their consumption. Schools can
also
encourage physical activities by providing sports facilities and supporting various sports programs,
such
as basketball and swimming, for students. In conclusion, several factors contribute to overweighting in
children
, including the high cost of healthy
foods
, a lack of awareness about the consequences of unhealthy eating, and the disregard for future
healthcare
costs
.
However
, the government can
address
these
problems
by imposing a tax on unhealthy
foods
,
while
schools can contribute by prioritizing
health
education and promoting physical activity. An increasing number of
children
are overweight which could result in many
problems
when they grow older both in terms of their
health
and
healthcare
costs
. Why do you think so many
children
are overweight? What could be done to solve
this
problem?
Submitted by bellchatpavee on

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task achievement
To further enrich your essay, consider including more specific data or references to studies that highlight the growing problem of childhood obesity and its health impacts.
task achievement
You may want to elaborate more on the role of parents in influencing children's eating habits and activities. This added dimension would make your argument even more comprehensive.
task achievement
Try diversifying the solutions by including other societal measures such as community programs, nutrition workshops for families, and partnerships with food retailers to lower the cost of healthy options.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion that logically flow from the main body.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported by explanations and examples, making your argument compelling.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the task effectively by discussing the causes and solutions for childhood overweight issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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