IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Space exploration costs tax payers an exorbitant amount of money each year.What are the advantages and disadvantage of spending money on space exploration?

#space #exploration #costs #tax #payers #amount #money #year
Space
exploration
 has been a subject of debate
due to
 the substantial financial investments it demands.
While
 some argue that the benefits of
space
exploration
 are invaluable, others question whether
such
 expenditure is justified when pressing issues on Earth persist. There are some pros and cons regarding the implementation of
this
 project. By doing
space
exploration
, there is a bigger chance for both astronauts and scientists to discover new objects
such
 as planets or stars that seemed to be unobservable before. New things
such
 as minerals and biological creatures will be able to be invented and all the research and hypotheses will likely be proven. Not only the experts, but the
exploration
 of
space
 would
also
 benefit students by bringing new knowledge for certain subjects
such
 as astronomy, physics, engineering, and mathematics. It will encourage students to be brave to go beyond their limitations.
Furthermore
, there will be a great improvement in technology if there are a lot of
space
 explorations conducted
such
 as more advanced rockets or satellites.
Further
 advancement is not limited to the tools used to explore the universe but
also
 to other technologies including artificial intelligence, phones, and computers.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages to doing
this
 kind of project. It is undeniable that
this
exploration
 requires thorough preparation.
This
 project has a lot of risks and possible failures that sometimes can not be calculated or predicted.
For instance
, the damage to one of NASA's rockets led to the cancellation of its mission to explore
space
. It can
also
 be challenging because the maintenance of those technologies
also
 needs high cost.
Submitted by arnel4yt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the issue of space exploration funding, outlining both advantages and disadvantages. Some main points are supported adequately, but the overall argument could benefit from more in-depth exploration and stronger supporting details. To improve, it's recommended to include a wider range of ideas and examples that directly relate to the prompt and further support your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an adequate logical structure with a basic introduction and conclusion. However, to enhance the cohesion and coherence, you could make better use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, developing a more impactful introduction and conclusion that clearly summarize the key points would strengthen the response. Clear topic sentences should be used to introduce the main points in each paragraph.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • tax payers
  • technological advancement
  • scientific knowledge
  • economic growth
  • national prestige
  • long-term survival
  • financial investment
  • pressing needs
  • risk to human life
  • environmental concerns
  • space debris
  • immediate returns
  • allocation of resources
  • aerospace
  • engineering
  • habitable planets
  • breakthroughs
  • fuel industries
  • inspire
What to do next:
Look at other essays: