IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: • Introduce yourself • Say why you are interested in this club • Ask some questions about the club ,facilities, members, costs.

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Dear Sir/Madam The reason why I am addressing you is that I want to ask some questions about your sports club,
as well as
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 express my willingness to participate in it. I am a student of your
college
Use synonyms
. I have just started a course there and I have been studying
this
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college
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 for two months.
Therefore
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 I am not very aware of
this
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college
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. To tell the truth, I am a
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
show examples
. And
also
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, I am interested in playing volleyball. I have been playing
this
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 stuff since I was 10 years old. I have been taking many courses,
as well as
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 I do not want to stop playing
this
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 sport. Unfortunately, our
college
Use synonyms
 does not have any clubs.
Firstly
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, I would like to know if there are any facilities
that
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
nearest
Replace the word
near
show examples
 the
college
Use synonyms
 where I have been studying.
Secondly
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, I would be grateful if you could tell me about clubs.
For example
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, how much does it cost? It is because I have to keep playing my sport. I would appreciate it if you could send the details to my email as soon as possible. I hope you will consider my request. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely Nilufar Sharipova

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider offering more specific details about your background as a sports person or your level of experience. This will help the club manager understand your needs better.
coherence cohesion
Enhancing coherence and cohesion could be achieved by providing smoother transitions between the questions and statements within the paragraphs. This will make the letter more fluid and readable.
task achievement
You clearly introduced yourself and explained your interest in the sports club, which is crucial for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a logical structure and covers the key points in a systematic way.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriate and effective for this type of formal letter.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph deals with a single idea, which enhances readability.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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