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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The figures related to the amount of Ashdom
museum’s
Capitalize word
Museum’s
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 and the degree of their satisfaction before and after the repair are indicated in the table and the pie charts, respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, the refurbishing process had a positive impact on the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 and the quality of the visiting experience was explicitly improved. Having considered the data
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
before the refurbishing span, 74,000
people
Use synonyms
 were interested in visiting the museum.
Moreover
Linking Words
, roughly half of the
people
Use synonyms
 (45%), both satisfied and very satisfied, were pleased by the experience.
However
Linking Words
, 50% of the charts
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 allotted to unsatisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
, and the
people
Use synonyms
 who didn’t participate in the survey take a
miniscular
Correct your spelling
miniscule
 amount of 5%. Considering the numbers after the applied changes,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 had increased considerably to 92,000.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of satisfied
people
Use synonyms
 swelled to 75% and
conversely
Linking Words
, the refurbishment brought about a significant drop of 30% in the
number
Use synonyms
 of dissatisfaction. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who were without any ideas remained unchanged.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, number, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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