Some people prefer to live in hot climate, while others like to live in cold climate.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
To live under a certain temperature, whether it is a hot or cold climate, is a preference of each person. There are some reasons why they choose to be burning or freezing. They may choose it out of habit, maybe their hometown is warm
hence
they are more resilient in sweating than shivering. Another reason is from their own bodies, some people may have a faster metabolism thus
they need wintry air outside of their body. In explaining both views, I will take my country, Indonesia as an example, since it has both
tropical cities like Surabaya and Semarang, and chilly towns like Temanggung and Bogor.
The population of Surabaya have been surviving the boiling weather for most of their time in town. On some days even feels as though it straight-up burning the skin. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Thus
if they go to a cooler city in the peak of the summer season, they would not be bothered by the tropical air. It is as if they have this
superpower to thrive in the sun. On the other hand
, they may feel weak when going up to the mountains where it is absolutely frosty. They might need thicker clothes than the locals to warm their bodies.
However
, the alp's folks from Bogor or Temanggung, they
may sustain the same frigid temperature better. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
is mostly because they have been living their whole life there. Their body has adapted well. They have more haemoglobin to transport their greater oxygen demand in the low degrees. On the contrary
, when they visit cities in the lowlands, they will easily sweat and give up to the heat.
That said, not everyone will choose the temperature of the place they were born in. For example
, I am from Surabaya but I prefer the lower atmospheric conditions. My choice is based on my liking only, although
my body is actually not strong enough to fight the summit air. It will shiver and I think I will change my mind and miss my tropical home.
In conclusion, the crowd will pick the climate they are familiar with. This
is because they are already used to it whether they like it or not. Moreover
, their bodies had adapted physiologically well to that situation, hence
they will survive it better.Submitted by aghnia.ulhaq on
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coherence cohesion
You should ensure that the essay includes a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion and the conclusion should provide a concise summary of the points discussed, along with your own opinion. Although your essay included these elements, they could be more clearly defined and the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help the reader follow the argument more easily. Additionally, paragraphing can be improved by ensuring each paragraph contains one clear main idea with supporting statements.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. It's important to discuss both views presented and then clearly state your own opinion. While your essay mentioned a personal stance at the end, it would benefit from deeper exploration and clearer positioning within the essay structure.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points as this will help to demonstrate the ability to discuss ideas in a relevant and detailed manner. While the essay provided some general examples, these could be more developed and rooted in real-world evidence to strengthen your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.