In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.

Due to
the development of healthcare and medical technology,
average
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the average
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life span of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
is increasing year by year.
Therefore
,
fraction
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a fraction
the fraction
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the aging
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aging
Change the spelling
ageing
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population
is increasing exponentially.
This
phenomenon is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
issue that many
governments
in the world
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
currently facing. I insist that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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inclining
Correct article usage
the aging
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
to
governments
is over
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
This
essay will focus on
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
of elderly
people
on the economic and social aspects of
governments
.
First,
it can be said that
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
population
of elderly
people
brings
Verb problem
has
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
effect on the
economy
. Even though elderly
people
cannot create economic value
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as younger
people
, the impact of
large
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a large
the large
show examples
population
of elderly
people
on the market is impossible to ignore.
Thus
, if
governments
allocate
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
working resources
on
Change preposition
to
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appropriate
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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,
aging
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an aging
the aging
show examples
population
will create economic growth.
Moreover
, their spending in the market will circulate
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
, which would result in
stable
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a stable
show examples
economy
.
On the other hand
, some
people
believe that
potential
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the potential
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costs
for
Change preposition
of for
show examples
caring
Correct article usage
the aging
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
larger than
profits
Correct article usage
the profits
show examples
they make. Since older
people
require more medical and health care, national healthcare insurance spending would increase with
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
.
Hence
, it can be argued that
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
in
Correct article usage
the aging
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
has
downside
Correct article usage
a downside
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
governments
.
Furthermore
, elderly
people
has
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have
show examples
significance
on
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in
show examples
social aspects. The memory
itself
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
aging
people
possesses are
Correct subject-verb agreement
possess is
show examples
important in social
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
. Their memory includes social norms and traditional cultural
values
. These
values
cannot be found
instead
of elderly
people
. If
Correct article usage
the aging
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
continuously grow, their memory will have
stronger
Add an article
a stronger
show examples
influence on contemporary society,
therefore
governments
can preserve traditional social
values
.
However
, some
refutes
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refute
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
this
by saying that
aging
Correct article usage
the aging
show examples
population
creates conflict between
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
generation,
hence
call
Wrong verb form
calling
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
chaos
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
society. Since
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
and young
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
different social backgrounds during growing
and
Change preposition
up and
show examples
experiences they had, their ideology conflicts often and
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
hard for them to understand each other.
Hence
, elderly
people
has
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have
show examples
disadvantage
Correct article usage
a disadvantage
show examples
on
governments
.
To sum up
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
always positive and negative aspects
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the event. In the case of the increasing elderly
population
, positive
aspecst
Correct your spelling
aspects
aspect
are that their contribution
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
economy
will create economic growth and their memories about the past will be
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
for
governments
to protect traditional cultures and
values
.
However
, it can be
also
said that
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
governments
should spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
caring
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
is drastic and
Correct article usage
the aging
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
's misunderstanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation will create continuous conflicts and cause chaos
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
society.
Submitted by yelim050319 on

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Task Achievement
You need to provide a clear introduction that succinctly presents the topic and outlines your position regarding the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. The conclusion should draw together your arguments and restate your position clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the overall cohesion and coherence by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. Each paragraph should develop a single main idea related to the question. Avoid including multiple ideas in a single paragraph.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples or data to support your points. General statements are less convincing without concrete evidence or examples.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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