In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.
Due to
the development of healthcare and medical technology, average
life span of human Add an article
the average
being
is increasing year by year. Fix the agreement mistake
beings
Therefore
, fraction
of Add an article
a fraction
the fraction
Correct article usage
the aging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
is increasing exponentially. This
phenomenon is the
issue that many Correct article usage
an
governments
in the world is
currently facing. I insist that Change the verb form
are
advantages
inclining Correct article usage
the advantages
Correct article usage
the aging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
brings
to Change the verb form
bring
governments
is over disadvantages
. Correct article usage
the disadvantages
This
essay will focus on effects
of elderly Correct article usage
the effects
people
on the economic and social aspects of governments
.
First,
it can be said that growing
Correct article usage
the growing
population
of elderly people
brings
Verb problem
has
positive
effect on the Add an article
a positive
economy
. Even though elderly people
cannot create economic value same
as younger Correct article usage
the same
people
, the impact of large
Add an article
a large
the large
population
of elderly people
on the market is impossible to ignore. Thus
, if governments
allocate this
working resources Correct determiner usage
these
on
appropriate Change preposition
to
place
, Fix the agreement mistake
places
aging
Add an article
an aging
the aging
population
will create economic growth. Moreover
, their spending in the market will circulate economy
, which would result in Correct article usage
the economy
stable
Add an article
a stable
economy
. On the other hand
, some people
believe that potential
costs Correct article usage
the potential
for
caring Change preposition
of for
Correct article usage
the aging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
is
larger than Change the verb form
are
profits
they make. Since older Correct article usage
the profits
people
require more medical and health care, national healthcare insurance spending would increase with growing
Correct article usage
the growing
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
. Hence
, it can be argued that increase
in Correct article usage
the increase
Correct article usage
the aging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
has downside
Correct article usage
a downside
on
Change preposition
for
governments
.
Furthermore
, elderly people
has
significance Change the verb form
have
on
social aspects. The memory Change preposition
in
itself
aging Correct pronoun usage
that
people
possesses are
important in social Correct subject-verb agreement
possess is
aspect
. Their memory includes social norms and traditional cultural Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
values
. These values
cannot be found instead
of elderly people
. If Correct article usage
the aging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
continuously grow, their memory will have stronger
influence on contemporary society, Add an article
a stronger
therefore
governments
can preserve traditional social values
. However
, some refutes
Change the verb form
refute
to
Change preposition
apply
this
by saying that aging
Correct article usage
the aging
population
creates conflict between younger
generation, Add an article
the younger
hence
call
Wrong verb form
calling
on
chaos Change preposition
for
to
society. Since Change preposition
in
elderly
and young Correct article usage
the elderly
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
have
different social backgrounds during growing Change the verb form
has
and
experiences they had, their ideology conflicts often and Change preposition
up and
its
hard for them to understand each other. Correct your spelling
it's
Hence
, elderly people
has
Change the verb form
have
disadvantage
on Correct article usage
a disadvantage
governments
.
To sum up
, there is
always positive and negative aspects Correct subject-verb agreement
are
on
the event. In the case of the increasing elderly Change preposition
of
population
, positive aspecst
are that their contribution Correct your spelling
aspects
aspect
on
the Change preposition
to
economy
will create economic growth and their memories about the past will be advantages
for Replace the word
advantageous
governments
to protect traditional cultures and values
. However
, it can be also
said that cost
Correct article usage
the cost
governments
should spend for
caring Change preposition
on
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
is drastic and Correct article usage
the aging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
's misunderstanding about
Change preposition
of
younger
generation will create continuous conflicts and cause chaos Correct article usage
the younger
to
society.Change preposition
in
Submitted by yelim050319 on
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Task Achievement
You need to provide a clear introduction that succinctly presents the topic and outlines your position regarding the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. The conclusion should draw together your arguments and restate your position clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the overall cohesion and coherence by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. Each paragraph should develop a single main idea related to the question. Avoid including multiple ideas in a single paragraph.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples or data to support your points. General statements are less convincing without concrete evidence or examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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