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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that cloths or costumes are more responsible for the occurrence of rape. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cloths #costumes #occurrence #rape
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In modern society, there is an argument that the government should raise the tax on sugary
products
 in order to affect the average
sugar
 intake from these goods whose high
sugar
 content causes numerous health problems. From my perspective, I firmly believe that it is not a practical solution to make a decrease in the consumption of sweet food and soft drinks, which will be
further
 explained in the following essay.
Firstly
, there are a number of drawbacks to the idea of increasing
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
, one of which is negative economic effects. If the government enacts the law to raise the tax on sugary processed
products
, prices will skyrocket, which can lead to much more severe inflation. Before
this
 plan can show its affection for people’s purchases of manufactured
products
 with high content of
sugar
, it will lengthen the harsh economic depression which outweighs the benefit of cutting down on
sugar
 consumption, especially in times of crisis like
this
 period after the COVID-19 pandemic.
Secondly
, the idea of making sugary
products
 much more expensive seems to be a useless method if consumers do not realize how harmful a huge amount of
sugar
 they take usually.
Therefore
, the government had better make an attempt to raise the public’s awareness of illnesses whose root cause is a significant
sugar
 intake from processed food,
instead
 of raising taxes. If not, all the effort will come to nothing. In conclusion, increasing the price of sugary goods’ price is one of
legion
Add an article
the legion
show examples
 solutions that individuals come up with to lessen the consumption of sweet food and soft drinks to avoid numerous illnesses. To my mind, it sounds like an ineffective and ridiculous idea
due to
 the fact that its demerits outweigh the merits.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Task Response
Ensure that your essay has a clear opinion that addresses the task, and that this opinion is introduced early in the essay and reiterated in your conclusion for maximum clarity. Your points should consistently align with this core opinion throughout.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples to strengthen your argument. Whenever you make a claim, back it up with evidence or an example that illustrates your point convincingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay in a logical structure with clear paragraphs, each exploring a central idea. Use linking words effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs, ensuring the reader can follow your argument with ease.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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