The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a wole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantage.

In
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
digital age, the improvement of social
media
has a big impact on personal relationships.
This
author believes that the
benefits
of global connectivity and education outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
of fake
news
. The most advantageous factor of social
media
is global connectivity
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can help
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
better and easier.
In other words
, social
media
can allow users to connect with
people
across the world, leading to a more interconnected society and opening up networking opportunities. From prior knowledge, most
people
in Vietnam who use social
media
usually make friends in other countries by social
media
such
as
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
, zalo or
tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
.
Thus
, social
media
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
to have a healthy lifestyle. The
benefits
of education must
also
be considered. It must be recognized that platforms like
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
offer a plethora of educational videos,
while
social
media
can be a channel for
news
and global events.
As a result
, social
media
enables the creation of support groups for various interests and issues, helping individuals feel a sense of belonging. Thereby, social
media
can give
people
a lot of knowledge about their country or other countries.
However
, some
people
disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
benefits
of social
media
and think that it can have fake
news
which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the community fall down. They believe that the spread of false information can have serious consequences on individuals and society,
such
as influencing elections or public health.
This
may be true but with the improvement of society nowadays, the percentage of fake
news
appear
Wrong verb form
appearing
show examples
is very low.
Consequently
, if
people
use social
media
for a good purpose, there will not
appear
Verb problem
be
show examples
any fake
news
. Taking all points into account, the drawback of fake
news
is outweighed by the
benefits
of education and global connectivity.
Hence
, the
benefits
of social
media
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
various.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Work on presenting a clear introduction with a properly structured thesis statement that previews the main arguments you will discuss.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are present, clear, and directly address the question prompt.
logical structure
Improve the logical structure by organizing ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic.
logical structure
Develop coherence by linking ideas clearly using a range of linking phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs.
supported main points
Support main points with specific examples and details. General statements should be backed up with precise information to strengthen arguments.
complete response
Focus on providing a complete response to all parts of the task. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to addressing the question fully.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to ensure that each point is comprehensive and fully explained.
relevant specific examples
Use specific, relevant examples to illustrate points, ensuring they directly relate to the question and strengthen your position on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: