IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#politicians’ #lives #newspapers
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Newspapers
Use synonyms
 should not issue
stories
Use synonyms
 of politicians’ private
lives
Use synonyms
. I totally disagree with the statement because it is in the public
Use synonyms
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 to publish, and some
readers
Use synonyms
 get interested in
politics
Use synonyms
 after reading the
stories
Use synonyms
. Printing the details of politicians’ private
lives
Use synonyms
 in
newspapers
Use synonyms
 is in the public
Use synonyms
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
.
Readers
Use synonyms
 can understand more
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 politicians’
values
Use synonyms
 through the
stories
Use synonyms
, and it gives voters information
who
Change preposition
about who
show examples
 have the same
values
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with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 them.
For example
Linking Words
, some lawmakers put their families
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
first
Correct pronoun usage
their first
show examples
 priority and they often do volunteer work with their children. If voters see these
stories
Use synonyms
 in
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and if they have the same
values
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 them, they are likely to vote
them
Change preposition
for them
show examples
 in the next election because the politicians may propose laws that protect the
values
Use synonyms
 of family.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I completely disagree that
stories
Use synonyms
 of politicians’ private
lives
Use synonyms
 should not be published. After reading
stories
Use synonyms
 of politicians’ private
lives
Use synonyms
 in
newspapers
Use synonyms
, some
readers
Use synonyms
 become more interested in
politics
Use synonyms
.
Readers
Use synonyms
 who get interested in
stories
Use synonyms
 of politicians will read
further
Linking Words
 on things that are related to the politicians, and
this
Linking Words
 leads them to become more
Use synonyms
interests
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in
politics
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
former US President Donald Trump appeared in
newspapers
Use synonyms
 several
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 during his presidency, and the
stories
Use synonyms
 covered his relationship with the First Lady. Some
readers
Use synonyms
 found these
stories
Use synonyms
 interesting and they started following
policy
Correct article usage
the policy
show examples
 that Trump proposed to make, and later
on
Add a comma
on,
show examples
 demonstrations of support were held by them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I totally disagree with the statement that
newspapers
Use synonyms
 should not issue the
stories
Use synonyms
 of politicians’ private
lives
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I completely disagree that
stories
Use synonyms
 of politicians’ private
lives
Use synonyms
 should not be printed because it is in the public
Use synonyms
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
, and some
readers
Use synonyms
 become more interested in
politics
Use synonyms
 after reading the
stories
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by edzcls on

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task achievement
Make sure to develop your main points fully to strengthen your argument. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
task achievement
Provide a balanced view when discussing agree/disagree essays to ensure full coverage of the question. Address both sides of the argument, even if your position leans strongly towards one.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to ensure better logical flow. Your essay should seamlessly guide the reader from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion can be more effective. Provide a clearer thesis statement and summarize your main points more concisely in the conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrusion
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • sensationalism
  • privacy
  • public interest
  • collateral damage
  • precedent
  • responsible journalism
  • exploitation
  • democratic processes
  • media culture
  • balance
What to do next:
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