IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Government spending on restroration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend money in housing and road development . Do you agree or disagree with this.

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Proponents argue that government expenses on repairing historical places should be halted, and that amount must be used in the construction of the city
whereas
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 opponents disagree with the above point. In my view of thinking, the restoration of ancestral buildings which are the unique identity of our cities is a necessary step for any regime.
Additionally
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, these places help to earn money for councils through tourism.
To begin
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 with, every town in the world consists of distinct architectural houses from centuries. These symbols not only are the pride of locals but
also
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 preserve their historical moments.
Although
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 spending on road and housing development can be helpful to citizens, the refurbishment of old buildings is required to teach the generations about the past of our city.
For instance
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, my nephew always asks me about the story of the Holkar family after he sees the Holkar Palace in my village.
Secondly
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, on the one hand, spending on city development like streets, lights, or homes does not provide any sort of income to councils
whereas
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,
on the other hand
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, well-maintained historical places generate great revenue for the government.
Furthermore
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, the bloom in the travelling industry can help local businesses to grow.
Moreover
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, the increasing number of visitors makes the region popular in the world.
For example
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, 82% of cities in India are spending one-third of their budget on restoring historical palaces, and in return, these attractions are giving hefty revenue through tourism.
To conclude
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, the maintenance of old architecture is a recommended step for the rulers of any region around the globe
due to
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 the fact that
such
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 houses hold the history of their surroundings, and a good amount of money,
as well as
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 popularity, can be gained through the well-structured buildings from an old era.

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coherence cohesion
While your essay presents coherent arguments, there are instances where your sentences could be structured better to improve readability. Consider adding more transitional phrases or words to improve flow.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced argument that directly answers the prompt, drawing from both sides of the debate. However, the presentation of ideas could be clearer at times. A critical part of achieving this is ensuring that each paragraph has one clear point, which should be implied in the opening sentence of the paragraph.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a good level of understanding of the topic. However, some of the examples given are not fully developed, or lack specific details. Try to work on developing your examples thoroughly to clearly support your point
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical preservation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Tangible links
  • Tourism boost
  • Local economy
  • Modern infrastructure
  • Immediate social needs
  • Quality of life
  • Job creation
  • Urban populations
  • Balanced approach
  • Sustainable development
  • Resource allocation
  • Urban aesthetic
  • Unique character
  • Sense of pride
  • Belonging
  • Economic growth
  • Community investment
  • Revitalization
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