IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many cities around the world, pollution levels have risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effects does this have?

#cities #world #pollution #levels #years #effects
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Pollution
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 is a big problem in many
cities
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 around the world. It happens when there are too many contaminants in the
air
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, water, and
on
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apply
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Correct article usage
apply
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the
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apply
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land.
People
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 can see and feel the
effects
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 of
pollution
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 in their daily lives. There are some reasons for
pollution
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 in
cities
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. The main
cause
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 is the many motorcycles, cars, and factories that have risen up in the
cities
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. Millions of
people
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 use their own motorcycles and cars for their daily activities. The government does not provide proper facilities for public transportation.
This
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 condition, of course, will improve exposure to the
air
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. Factories
also
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 produce smoke and chemicals that go into the
air
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 and water.
People
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also
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 throw away a lot of trash that can make the land dirty. When we use too many things and don't recycle them, they add to the
pollution
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 problems. All these conditions will
cause
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 global warming, which is dangerous for the earth we live on.
Besides
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 that,
pollution
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 has tons of bad
effects
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 on
people
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 and the environment. When all the places have been polluted, disasters will come to our lives,
such
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 as floods, landslides,
green house
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greenhouse
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effects
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, etc.
Air
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pollution
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 can make it hard to breathe and
cause
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 many health problems. Water
pollution
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 can harm marine biota. Land
pollution
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 can have a bad effect on plants and animals.
Therefore
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,
pollution
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 is a big problem in
cities
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. Cars, factories, and
people
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cause
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 many environmental problems. It has harmful
effects
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 on our health and our planet. By making small changes in our daily lives, we can work together to reduce
pollution
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 and make our
cities
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 cleaner and healthier places to live.
Submitted by jidiyosua on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the subsequent sentences expand on that topic with relevant information and examples. It appears that the main points could be more comprehensively developed and supported with specific details.
task achievement
Make certain to directly address the prompt given, offering a fully developed position that stays on topic throughout the essay. Provide a more thorough exploration of ideas with specific examples to fully answer all parts of the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions
  • contaminants
  • respiratory illnesses
  • smog
  • carcinogens
  • sustainability
  • aerosols
  • ecosystem degradation
  • wastewater treatment
  • green initiatives
  • carbon footprint
  • urban sprawl
  • renewable energy
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