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Writing Samples
Band 5

NOWADAYS PEOPLE ARE IMMIGRATING TO DEVELOPED WORLD. DISCUSS ITS REASONS AND STATE ITS CONSEQUENCES

#people #world #consequences
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Numerous
countries
 are facing a complicated challenge where capable well-rounded
individuals
 are leaving their own
country
 to a more economically stabilized
country
.
Hence
, those
countries
 are experiencing labour shortages in various different sectors. There are a plethora of reasons responsible for
such
 a trend and dire consequences are following closely to
this
 trend.
First,
Individuals
 who are more educated and capable enough , are leaving their home
country
 to find more careeristic opportunities and quality lifestyle.
For instance
, several engineers, doctors and farmers are looking forward to immigrating to a more developed
country
 where they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 earn more money and be financially strong. Considering the lack of work-related opportunities and other facilities like good hospital benefits, successful people are prone to move away to live a better life.
Such
 trends are reprehensible for a
country
's unsustainability.
As a consequence
, the labour shortage is the result and an impediment towards the
country
's growth aspects.
Hence
, the citizens of these
countries
 are affected on various levels
like
Change preposition
apply
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no crops will be harvested
due to
 the lack of farmers, people will die for not receiving proper treatment
due to
 the lack of experienced doctors and infrastructure will not grow
for
Change preposition
because of
show examples
 not having more engineers available.
As a result
 ,
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 aspects of those
countries
 would get affected and foster unrest in the society,
hence
, destroying the
countries
 from the core. In conclusion, the immigration of successful
individuals
 has a plethora of ramifications towards the
countries
' growth.
Thence
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, the government must provide better facilities to the citizens and look after their necessities.
Therefore
, the outcome of
such
 an occurrence will not arise . As a suggestion, every
country
 must produce a number of quality
individuals
 to serve the
country
's necessities, so that
such
 type of trend can not harm the
country
's growth
due to
 having a surplus of capable
individuals
.
Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and consistent structure throughout, including an introductory paragraph, cohesive body paragraphs, and a concise conclusive paragraph. Use linking words strategically to ensure that your main points flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt effectively in your essay. Be sure to provide specific reasons for the trend of immigration as well as clear, detailed consequences that result from this trend. Aim to expand on each main point with relevant examples or data to strengthen your argument.
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