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Band 5

A magazine wants to include contribution from its readers for an article called 'the book that influenced me most". Write a letter to the editor of the magazine about the book that influences you most. In your letter, describe what this book was about, explain how this book influenced you, say whether this book would be likely to influence other people

#magazine #contribution #readers #article #book #editor #influences #influence #people
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to recommend a book called "Azadi-e-Hind" written by Abdul Kalam Azad a renowned freedom activist that encompasses the story of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Indian independence for that reason I am
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 admirer of it. To start with, As the Indian subcontinent was a former British colony, there was a need for
national
Correct article usage
a national
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 freedom movement, that served as the primary cause of the Indian National Congress formation. Luckily, Gandhi, Nehru, Patel, and Azad were among the top-tier
leadership
Replace the word
leaders
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 that provided the road map to it.
Moreover
, The main agendas at that time were to get independence,
discourge
Correct your spelling
discourage
discouraged
 external invasion like Japan, and
last
 but not least keep India united. In
this
regard
Add a comma
regard,
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 they came up with
great
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a great
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 idea known as the cabinet mission where only finance, defence, and foreign affairs were federal matters and all
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 powers were
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
 to states.
Although
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 been 77 years
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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there are numerous confusions among the citizens of India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh related to our independence.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,
this
 is definitely going to answer many of their questions. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Ben John
Submitted by Haris Khan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea and that your ideas progress logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. Expand on how the book influenced you personally and how it might influence others, beyond general statements.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices accurately to manage the relation between ideas and paragraphs.

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