Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Although
it is sometimes thought that personal goals should be the priority of studying, other people believe that preparation through education
in order to benefit the
Correct article usage
apply
society
is superior. While
I can undrestnad
why some individuals string Correct your spelling
understand
along with
the former belief, I think it would be in all our interests if education
could help to make a better community. To achieve a clear picture; this
matter needs to be seen into
a wider context.
On the one hand, it is mistakenly alleged that personal success is as important as, if not more Change preposition
in
importan
than, national success. Correct your spelling
important
This
assumption claims that each person has the right to prioritize its
goals. Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
Furthermore
, when someone do
all the Verb problem
makes
efforts
to become an educated person, they would think Fix the agreement mistake
effort
financial
matters first. Change preposition
about financial
Due to
financial concerns
people have become greedier in recent times and they do not think of whether they can help their Add a comma
concerns,
country
or not. Those well-educated experts who immigrate from their motherhood
Replace the word
mother
country
to a developed country
in order to recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
a
better Correct article usage
apply
payment
can be a good case in point. Replace the word
pay
This
group, however
, claims that they can think of their own personal desires and as soon as acquiring them, they can help their community, which is too optimistical to become practical.
On the other hand
, it would be nationally and socially beneficial for the community if the goal of education
was helping the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. The salient point to note here is that when it is programmized
that well-educated people should help Correct your spelling
programmed
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
, this
would lead to raise
an open-minded generation with broadened horizons, which can increase the level of knowledge in Change the verb form
raising
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. This
, therefore
, might bring about a brighter future for the country
and it can even helps
to create a better future for the universe.
In conclusion, from my point of view, Change the verb form
help
its
socially and nationally Replace the word
it's
it is
benefical
for all Correct your spelling
beneficial
the
mankind if the Correct article usage
apply
porpuse
of Correct your spelling
purpose
education
were making
individuals ready to help Wrong verb form
is to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
.Submitted by alifarzaneh on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and be well-developed. The conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your opinion.
task achievement
You need to fully address all parts of the task. Make sure to discuss both views the question mentions, not just one, and provide a clear opinion of your own. Examples should be directly relevant and fully developed to support your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.