IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of university?

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It is still a subject of debate in society whether
universities
Use synonyms
 should give
learnings
Fix the agreement mistake
learning
show examples
 that will be beneficial for the workspace or let the
students
Use synonyms
 freely learn materials only for the sake of understanding.
This
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 essay will take a side in the freedom of learning alongside my opinions and related illustrations.
To begin
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 with,
students
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 who study under pressure
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 on boring subjects to gain professional skills will never gain knowledge efficiently.
This
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 issue is because they are not happy with what they experience during their journey which leads to unsatisfied outcomes even if the subjects are actually crucial and needed in certain workplaces.
For instance
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, as Indonesia has already applied the freedom of learning in its education system since 2020, there has been a significant upward trend where most of the learners enjoy their fields of study and mostly feel that they in fact gain valuable and memorable knowledge. More than that, several learners will get affected by their mental states like burned out if they get pushed on things that are not interesting.
Furthermore
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, several learners choose to attend
universities
Use synonyms
 not for specific work preparation,
instead
Linking Words
, they purely just want to have an understanding of certain areas of subjects.
This
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 phenomenon happens in many individuals who only want to develop their personal growth and have more degrees. To illustrate, many institutes in New Zealand have versatile courses which talk about certain regions' famous animals that can be attended by
students
Use synonyms
 even if most of their majors or careers are not related to biological stuff.
This
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 issue shows that many of them are full of curiosity and in fact,
universities
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 should facilitate their needs.
To sum up
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, I strongly believe that the main function of
universities
Use synonyms
 is to facilitate
students
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 in the form of education methods that let them explore things for their own knowledge even
it
Correct word choice
if it
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 is not associated with any formal skill. It is because the
students
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 not only will feel less stress with what they learn, but
also
Linking Words
universities
Use synonyms
 become a place for them to pour all of their curiosity.

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task response
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and fully develop it with more detailed supporting sentences.
task response
Conclude with a strong restatement of your position to reinforce your argument to the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lifelong learning
  • Holistic development
  • Vocational training
  • Industry-specific competencies
  • Critical thinking
  • Creative problem-solving
  • Academic research
  • Intellectual development
  • Ethics and values
  • Societal contribution
  • Job market demands
  • Practical training
  • Internships
  • Knowledge advancement
  • Global challenges
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