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Writing Samples /
Band 2

some sporting events famous it is negative impact or positive give your opinion

#events #impact
Sport
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 one of
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 famous
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 in
this
 world nowadays. It is because of its negative and positive impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
body
 and society,
such
 as
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 us
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
show examples
 and build
body
 shape, but
also
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 in risk of exploitation and human rights violations.
This
 essay will discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of these
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 impacts. When we say about positive impact, we all know that
sport
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 much good impact. First of all,
sport
 is one of the
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
taht
Correct your spelling
that
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 recommend us to do to encourage
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle. These days,
for example
, we often see
influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
show examples
 or
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
show examples
 who have good
body
 shape will increase awareness to their fans to do
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 like them to get the same
body
 figure.
Moreover
, someone who
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
 at
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 opportunities to join international
sport competition
Fix the agreement mistake
sports competitions
show examples
 that will
cretaing
Correct your spelling
create
 personal or national pride. Because of
this
, we can say that
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 will
bring
Verb problem
make
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 more valuable and active at the same time.
On the other hand
, we can see in many countries there is
explonation
Correct your spelling
explanation
exploration
Submitted by dewintaputri23 on

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task achievement
Make sure to finish your essay with a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and states your position clearly.
task achievement
The essay does not seem complete as it ends abruptly. Ensure that you finish your thoughts and provide a well-rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by using more connecting words and clearer topic sentences to show how your paragraphs relate to each other.
task achievement
Introduce specific examples to support each claim you make. These examples can be from real-life events, statistics, or studies.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures to enhance the flow of your essay and make it more engaging to read. Try to avoid run-on sentences or fragments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • national pride
  • unity
  • boosting local economies
  • infrastructure development
  • healthy lifestyles
  • role models
  • social issues
  • global platform
  • advocacy
  • international peace
  • fair play
  • -
  • public funds
  • essential services
  • environmental harm
  • ecosystems
  • nationalism
  • xenophobia
  • commercialization
  • sportsmanship
  • sponsorships
  • exploitation
  • human rights violations
  • displacement
  • working conditions
What to do next:
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